Just a thought...
There is only one way ... think for yourself. If you can't think for yourself there are plenty of rules.
If after puzzling through things for yourself you wind up conforming, so what? Sometimes what most people do is actually right. If it isn't, you should be doing something else.
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlJeezles! I don't know whether to applaud that or admonish you for that. It certainly is not something I have ever contemplated doing.
I have been known to cash my paycheck, then upon seeing a homeless person, I give it all to him.
Here's a thought that came to me when I was driving on the Pacific Coast Highway a few years back, and saw a homeless man next to the road around Topanga Canyon Beach... A conservative looks at him and thinks how dare he make honest people pay more for their groceries to make up for the shopping cart he stole from the store. A liberal looks at him and thinks: aren't we as a society awful for letting someone slip through the cracks like that. More money should be taken from the paychecks of working people so that more can be given to people like that one.
I have some conservative tendencies and some liberal tendencies, but on this issue I am way over to the right. But your thread is about noncomformity, so I will shut up now. 😉
Originally posted by zucchiniWell said.
Just a thought...
There is only one way ... think for yourself. If you can't think for yourself there are plenty of rules.
If after puzzling through things for yourself you wind up conforming, so what? Sometimes what most people do is actually right. If it isn't, you should be doing something else.
The point is to always think.
Right or wrong, it is you that did it.
If wrong.... learn.
If right... study why others fail to see the obvious.
The trick ... as always ... is in seeing the obvious.
Originally posted by Paul Diracit is important to remembr that some homeless people believe it or not are homeless by choice...kind of weird I know
Jeezles! I don't know whether to applaud that or admonish you for that. It certainly is not something I have ever contemplated doing.
Here's a thought that came to me when I was driving on the Pacific Coast Highway a few years back, and saw a homeless man next to the road around Topanga Canyon Beach... A conservative looks at him and thinks [i]how da ...[text shortened]... ue I am way over to the right. But your thread is about noncomformity, so I will shut up now. 😉
Originally posted by royalchickenwhereas I am good looking, charasmatic, and socialise easily. I have as many 'friends' as I care to keep in contact with, but I never feel like I fit in. It's like it's all one huge bluff that has become a natural part of me so that I do it without thinking or trying, it's become half of me but the other half is still isolated.
Well, for me, relating to people is usually an intellectual effort--I have to figure out how it's done in most cases and consciously do it. I'm also not particularly charismatic or good-looking, so I can't take any easy way out.
I also like to talk about things, which apparently went out of fashion at all places other than RHP several decades ago.
The charisma wasn't always there though. At you age I was shy as hell. Practice bit by bit and it'll grow, and as you get older 'looks' become less important and who you are more so (to an extent).
I refuse to back down on my principles which gets me in trouble a lot. For example I refuse to cowtow to the social bullies, and if you're not with them then you're against them and because they're bullies they already have a lot of people aroiund them...
Originally posted by belgianfreakgood advice, belgian.
whereas I am good looking, charasmatic, and socialise easily. I have as many 'friends' as I care to keep in contact with, but I never feel like I fit in. It's like it's all one huge bluff that has become a natural part of me so that I do it without thinking or trying, it's become half of me but the other half is still isolated.
The charisma wasn ...[text shortened]... 're against them and because they're bullies they already have a lot of people aroiund them...
It is so hard to fit in, especially when you are young. Peer groups can be so brutal. the older you get it does become easier, buit you do have to work to make friends and relatioships. You have to go out there and love like you will never be hurt.
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlIt is hard to fit in, but it gets easier. I no longer think about fitting in at all (I'm 42).
...It is so hard to fit in...
I concern myself primarily with doing the best that I can at any time. This includes helping others to do the same. I find I can always be comfortable with myself knowing that I have done my best. At the end of the day, if I have caused some sort of trouble, I try to figure out how to best resolve it.
My acquaintances and friends differ so much that I think it is impossible to fit in with each of them. Every person I meet has qualities I admire, others that I don't. I look for common ground with everyone I deal with, and worry more about working together, rather than fitting in. I find the most interesting people are often the ones who appear to be the most different, and sometimes I learn a lot from them.
Originally posted by belgianfreakOh, I wasn't really griping--I was saying that I don't really like to be part of groups, so most of what I was talking about were things I do by choice.
whereas I am good looking, charasmatic, and socialise easily. I have as many 'friends' as I care to keep in contact with, but I never feel like I fit in. It's like it's all one huge bluff that has become a natural part of me so that I do it without thinking or trying, it's become half of me but the other half is still isolated.
The charisma wasn ...[text shortened]... 're against them and because they're bullies they already have a lot of people aroiund them...
I think situations should present themselves more frequently in which principles are important, or I should get some principles related to things I find unimportant.
Does the 'one huge bluff' cause you to spend untold hours wringing your hands and going on RHP binges 😉?
I saw this movie about conformity once....it was made in the 1940's.....but I couldn't understand it because IT WAS IN GERMAN!!!!!!!! And me being the anarchic, rebellious, free spirit that I most of the time am, conformity is not an option. This country is based on freedom and the like. Plus, what kind of country would this be if everyone looked and acted the same? The Stepford Wives or something like that.....
sarah, I want some cookies dammit!!!!!!!
(pweez) (nobody sees the pweez cept for you)
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Originally posted by Alpha10*makes a fresh batch of cookies just for the posters in this thread 😀
I saw this movie about conformity once....it was made in the 1940's.....but I couldn't understand it because IT WAS IN GERMAN!!!!!!!! And me being the anarchic, rebellious, free spirit that I most of the time am, conformity is not an opti ...[text shortened]... s dammit!!!!!!!
(pweez) (nobody sees the pweez cept for you)
*gives Alpha 10 a big handful of them.😀
Humans are so interesting. We want it both ways, don't we. We want to be free spirits, yet we also want to belong to society.
We all want to flock together, but then we find we don't like it and want to be individuals again. After a while we miss the companionship of a sociaty and come back.
Maybe it's ourselves we don't like.
We like being with other people because their different, but after a while we see there like us and we don't like them as much, so we fell we're better on our own. Then we see that we need to be with others because they are different and we like the differences.
Then we change ourselves so that we're not like others so that we can't see ourselves in them.
This isn't what i absolutely believe, it's just a theory i had at the time.
* (psst, pass the cookies)
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Originally posted by elvendreamgirlIt's funny how schoolkids tend to split into 3 groups: the conformists (eg jocks), the 'alternative' conformists (eg goths or indie kids) and the non-conformists. The funny thing is that the second group think they are being non-conformist, but have exactly the same urge to copy others in their group and impose uniformity as the jocks or the 'popular' crowd (whatever you call the standard conformist mould of teenage girls).
*makes a fresh batch of cookies just for the posters in this thread 😀
*gives Alpha 10 a big handful of them.😀
Humans are so interesting. We want it both ways, don't we. We want to be free spirits, yet we also want to belong to society.
I think all of us find conformity comforting to some extent - there's a kind of safety in numbers, an anonymity you can retreat to if something bad happens. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fit in. On the other hand, some people find non-conformists worrying - they are harder to understand/predict and the conformists may feel their position in the pecking order is threatened by someone who ignores it - so some people try to forciby impose conformity by bullying, and others join in because they share those fears. One would hope that this fear would subside as people get older, but it never completely goes away. Racism, homophobia, xenophobia and most other prejudices ultimately boil down to one thing: a fear of that which is different.
