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Debates Forum

Debates Forum

  1. 10 Oct '09 22:42
    First, the basics :


    Q. What is an economic stimulus payment?

    A. It is money the federal government will send to taxpayers.


    Q. Where will the government get this money?

    A. From taxpayers.


    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

    A. Only a smidgen.


    Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?

    A. Shut up.


    Now, some helpful advice on how best to help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely :


    If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China.


    If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.


    If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.


    If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.


    If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.


    If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.


    If you pay off your credit cards off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and be hidden offshore.


    Instead, keep the money in America by :


    1. spending it at yard sales;

    2. going to ball games;

    3. spending it on prostitutes;

    4. buying beer; or

    5. getting tattoos.


    These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.


    Conclusion : Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
  2. 10 Oct '09 23:30
    Originally posted by scacchipazzo
    First, the basics :


    Q. What is an economic stimulus payment?

    A. It is money the federal government will send to taxpayers.


    Q. Where will the government get this money?

    A. From taxpayers.


    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

    A. Only a smidgen.


    Q. What is the purpose of this p ...[text shortened]... n : Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
    Good advice at any age!
  3. Standard member telerion
    True X X Xian
    11 Oct '09 00:38
    Originally posted by scacchipazzo
    First, the basics :


    Q. What is an economic stimulus payment?

    A. It is money the federal government will send to taxpayers.


    Q. Where will the government get this money?

    A. From taxpayers.


    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

    A. Only a smidgen.


    Q. What is the purpose of this p ...[text shortened]... n : Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
    Amusingly, the kind of people who believe this stuff are probably very similar to those described in your conclusion.
  4. Subscriber Sleepyguy
    Reepy Rastardly Guy
    11 Oct '09 02:48
    or ...

    6. Use the money to buy a politician.

    Oh wait. You already said prostitute. Nevermind.
  5. 11 Oct '09 03:25
    Originally posted by telerion
    Amusingly, the kind of people who believe this stuff are probably very similar to those described in your conclusion.
    And you resemble your own dumb remark entirely. I guess you are impervious to detecting humor? Par for the course, I guess!
  6. Subscriber FMF
    a.k.a. John W Booth
    11 Oct '09 03:46
    Originally posted by scacchipazzo
    And you resemble your own dumb remark entirely. I guess you are impervious to detecting humor? Par for the course, I guess!
    You failed to catch the humour of telerion's droll retort. Joke's on you.
  7. Subscriber kmax87
    You've got Kevin
    12 Oct '09 12:06 / 2 edits
    Originally posted by FMF
    You failed to catch the humour of telerion's droll retort. Joke's on you.
    tut tut you have just been punked by rhp's most dead pan revival of Abbot and Costello, since our very own double act of No1 and Chancremechanic played these boards.