13 Sep 05
The challenge is:
You need to come up with a paragraph or so long story using 1. A Person, 2. An Object or Place, and 3. An Animal. At the end of your masterpiece you need to challenge the next person in the thread with three more criteria.
The first story will require the following criteria:
1. darvlay
2. a basket of dead puppies
3. a dinosaur
Entries will be judged by commitee for content, obscenity and brilliance. The winner will receive a large Grouper.
13 Sep 05
3 edits
The dead puppies sat there. In a basket. This is pretty standard for dead puppies, they aren't known for their music and dancing. Darvlay hunched further over them, attempting to conceal his dastardly deed. He was close and the last thing he needed right now some busybody interrupting him. He never could reach complete satisfaction with a woman, or a man for that matter. But this, this was a thing of beauty. As his seed splashed and he sighed in satifaction a dinosaur walked by and decided to try to eat him. The dinosaur succeeded.
My list:
Col. Mustard
Trophy
Lion
EDIT: Haha Freddie, beat you. Also my paragraph is better in all aspects.
13 Sep 05
2 edits
Originally posted by Hand of Hecate[/i]The dinosaur had torn apart the puppies and left them neatly in a basket when Darvlay tore through the foliage, wearing nothing but a bandana, tight shorts and a knife belt. His rippling muscles bulged from his chest and arms, and he had a look of both amusement at the dead puppies and anger at the dinosaur on his face. Careful to avoid slipping in the puppy's blood and innards, Darvlay approached the dinosaur and began to do naughty things to it, that they only do in Canada. The dinosaur's hide tightened and became harder as Darvlay pounded it in the lower region of its back (with the butt of his knife, obviously!). The animal cried out in pain as its skin was torn and soon Darvlay was victorious. The dinosaur was slain and Darvlay did a victory dance around its fallen body before munching on one of the puppies in a victory feast.
[b]The challenge is:
You need to come up with a paragraph or so long story using 1. A Person, 2. An Object or Place, and 3. An Animal. At the end of your masterpiece you need to challenge the next person in the thread with three more criteria.
The first story will require the following criteria:
[i]1. darvlay
2. a basket of ...[text shortened]... ged by commitee for content, obscenity and brilliance. The winner will receive a large Grouper.[/b]
My list:
1) The Queen
2) The numlock button on a keyboard
3) mosquito
13 Sep 05
2 edits
Originally posted by XanthosNZThe Colonel had once received a Victoria Cross medal for his bravery in Ypres, Somme, Normandy and all across the Western front. He had fought and killed lions in the Congo with nothing but the belt from his khakis and the sweat from his brow. But now, a new sense of pride had welled up within him. As he stood over the limp body of Miss White, he knew the hunt was over and only the predator remained. A trophy for his day's work, he thought. He reached down with a pair of needlenose pliers and began to remove her gold teeth just like he did with the Squareheads back in France. Then he cried. And then he masturbated.
The dead puppies sat there. In a basket. This is pretty standard for dead puppies, they aren't known for their music and dancing. Darvlay hunched further over them, attempting to conceal his dastardly deed. He was close and the last thing he needed right now some busybody interrupting him. He never could reach complete satisfaction with a woman, or a man ...[text shortened]... ard
Trophy
Lion
EDIT: Haha Freddie, beat you. Also my paragraph is better in all aspects.
My list:
Jerry Falwell
Bikini wax
A gerbil
13 Sep 05
Originally posted by XanthosNZEntries will be judged you mong. It's not a first come first serve.
The dead puppies sat there. In a basket. This is pretty standard for dead puppies, they aren't known for their music and dancing. Darvlay hunched further over them, attempting to conceal his dastardly deed. He was close and the last thing he needed right now some busybody interrupting him. He never could reach complete satisfaction with a woman, or a man ...[text shortened]... ard
Trophy
Lion
EDIT: Haha Freddie, beat you. Also my paragraph is better in all aspects.
13 Sep 05
Originally posted by darvlayJerry Falwell a Scandalous End to His Evil Empire:
The Colonel had once received a Victoria Cross medal for his bravery in Ypres, Somme, Normandy and all across the Western front. He had fought and killed lions in the Congo with nothing but the belt from his khakis and the sweat from his brow. But now, a new sense of pride had welled up within him. As he stood over the limp body of Miss White, he knew the ...[text shortened]... ce. Then he cried. And then he masturbated.
My list:
Jerry Falwell
Bikini wax
A gerbil
As you know a long string of scandals and rumors of scandals have followed Jerry Falwell. Not the least of which is his denouncing of the Teletubbies character, Tinky Winky, as a heathen homosexual symbol. Apparently, Jesus talked to Falwell and advised him that Tinky Winky's purple triangle head implement and handbag, were being used to beam homosexual messages directly into the minds of our smallest children. To make things worse, after snorting a tub of bikini wax in an effort to rid himself of evil spirits, Falwell accused abortionists, pagans, lesbians, feminists, gays, and the ACLU for causing the Sept 11th attacks. Finally sick of Falwell's "Gays are the sickness, AIDS is the cure propeganda", a Teletubbie Hit Squad assainated Falwell this weekend. He was found this morning bound, ball gag in mouth and a very large squirming gerbil jambed in his ass.
All hail the telletubbies.
The next three criteria are:
Phlabibit
duct tape
BIG CATS
13 Sep 05
Originally posted by StarrmanIn the windmills of your mind,
Phlabibit loved duct tape and BIG CATS, so he made a BIG CAT out of duct tape. Upon completion he was very happy. The end.
The next three:
Starrman
windmills
the much maligned pangolin
there's a Starrman going round.
With a much maligned pangolin,
and no ants for tea it's found.
With no ants for tea it'll starve,
But the Starrman doesn't mind.
Cos he's feeling kind o sick,
With his head spinning in the sky.
Jason Donovan
The Kuran
The Lochness monster (True or False???)
13 Sep 05
Originally posted by jimslyp69Jason sat at the edge of the pond.
Jason Donovan
The Kuran
The Lochness monster (True or False???)
He looked up from the book he was reading. The mist was rolling in and the sunlight looked faded and jaded.
"What are you reading there?" asked Kylie as she stepped up behind him.
"Hi. I didn't hear you approach." Jason answered, ignoring her sexy arse.
"Are you ignoring my arse because you're gay?" She squeeled, slightly peeved at the lack of attention she was so blatantly used to.
Jason shook his head: "No, don't be silly. Gay people ogle women like any other man would. I feel you should wear a Burkha."
Kylie screwed her nose up. "Why on earth?"
"The lack of visual stimulation is stimulating for the mind."
Kylie nodded slowly. "Yesssss...are you on drugs again Jason?"
"No. I've seen the light." He held up the book he was reading: "Look, this is the holiest of books of Is..."
He didn't manage to finish his sentence, for a giant monster lept out of the water and swallowed him whole.
Robert De Niro
Red hot pawn chess site
A stick insect.
14 Sep 05
Originally posted by XanthosNZLooks like that poodle pumper Xanthos is the winner right out of the gates as the rest of you couldn't write a story if your life depended on it. Good job losers.
The dead puppies sat there. In a basket. This is pretty standard for dead puppies, they aren't known for their music and dancing. Darvlay hunched further over them, attempting to conceal his dastardly deed. He was close and the last thing he needed right now some busybody interrupting him. He never could reach complete satisfaction with a woman, or a man ...[text shortened]... ard
Trophy
Lion
EDIT: Haha Freddie, beat you. Also my paragraph is better in all aspects.
Xanthos, PM me your address and the grouper will be forthcoming.
14 Sep 05
Originally posted by Hand of HecateWow with encouragement like that who wouldn't come back for more, eh? All due respect to Xanthos I still like my story the best....
Looks like that poodle pumper Xanthos is the winner right out of the gates as the rest of you couldn't write a story if your life depended on it. Good job losers.
Xanthos, PM me your address and the grouper will be forthcoming.
😛😛😛😛😛
14 Sep 05
Originally posted by Joe FistYour's deserves honorable mention and normally, if the story was solely judged on quality, would have come in first. However, I feel that Xanthos captured the true essence of perversion that is darvlay and must be declared the winner.
Wow with encouragement like that who wouldn't come back for more, eh? All due respect to Xanthos I still like my story the best....
😛😛😛😛😛
Too bad, so sad.
14 Sep 05
Originally posted by Hand of HecateAhhh I now get it.....very well. Don't mean to rain on Xanthos parade.
Your's deserves honorable mention and normally, if the story was solely judged on quality, would have come in first. However, I feel that Xanthos captured the true essence of perversion that is darvlay and must be declared the winner.
Too bad, so sad.
Much respect,
Fist