Originally posted by Silverstriker Sorry I mucked that one up my inputting into excel failed on that one 🙁 I should hire a secretary next time to ensure no mistakes
No worries, SS. I wasn't even going to mention it, it's not a big deal. Seriously, I'm just thankful to have participated after years of sitting on the sidelines.
Originally posted by lolof I thought when reading it: Here is a man who makes things easy for himself - wife tolerant and away and mistress next door.
If I got it right, that is.
Yes, that's the main failure - things ended up as banal as a typical male fantasy of being able to keep two women, and keep them contented. I had a vague idea of how to make the ending a bit more problematic, but I'm afraid that vanished into thin air as I wrote it.
One of those things I wished I had written down when I still had it in my head.
Originally posted by SwissGambit Yes, that's the main failure - things ended up as banal as a typical male fantasy of being able to keep two women, and keep them contented. I had a vague idea of how to make the ending a bit more problematic, but I'm afraid that vanished into thin air as I wrote it.
One of those things I wished I had written down when I still had it in my head.
It was good, I was amused and I like the way it was written too.
Originally posted by SwissGambit Yes, that's the main failure - things ended up as banal as a typical male fantasy of being able to keep two women, and keep them contented. I had a vague idea of how to make the ending a bit more problematic, but I'm afraid that vanished into thin air as I wrote it.
One of those things I wished I had written down when I still had it in my head.
I liked it, SG, especially the reverse order thing. Would've liked it a bit better though if the reader slowly finds out that the man was simply taking care of an injured woman - so without having an affair - but for some reason didn't want to tell his wife. Maybe that's what you originally had in mind?
Regardless, it's not nearly as bad as you seem to think it is.
Originally posted by lolof The twist was perhaps the title - The Bigamist - suggesting he might actually have married twice...? 🙂
Ahh...that's stirring some memory. I think that was what it was. Trying to keep two legal marriages secret. I think the trouble was, just setting up the two marriages already put me over 750 words. 😛
Originally posted by SwissGambit Ahh...that's stirring some memory. I think that was what it was. Trying to keep two legal marriages secret. I think the trouble was, just setting up the two marriages already put me over 750 words. 😛
Originally posted by SwissGambit Yes - sort of a Memento thing.
Yeah, I thought maybe that might have hurt your chances a little. I gave you points for bravery, though.
While plot machinations like the jumbled time order of the scenarios in Pulp Fiction didn't bother me too much (probably because there were only like 4 or 5 sections), Memento really messed me up while watching it, I thought it hurt the story because I was trying to keep that in my head while figuring out the story, finally it became too much to keep track of while trying to remain interested in the story, just watching the film became more work than the film was worth in the first place (in my opinion).
Originally posted by SwissGambit Ahh...that's stirring some memory. I think that was what it was. Trying to keep two legal marriages secret. I think the trouble was, just setting up the two marriages already put me over 750 words. 😛
Yeah, the 750 word limit does leave a lot of plot on the editing table, but sometimes that is a good thing. Part of the skill is getting your point and any twists across without droning on and on about it. The limit forces one to rely on the readers for having just a bit of intelligence to make the leap you want them to make.
30 Jan '14 14:53
2014 Prose Competition - The Results
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