2018 RHP Prose Competition -

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
Start writing it straight away sir.

I working on getting "like a rolling stone" to rhyme with "pink fluffy unicorn."

I'm stymied,

but not for forlorn.

Originally posted by @moonbus
I working on getting "like a rolling stone" to rhyme with "pink fluffy unicorn."

I'm stymied,

but not for forlorn.

Moonbus wants to replace the pawn, (though not forlorn)
with a pink fluffy unicorn. (Complete with horn).
and instead of a knight.
two pink lumps of Turkish Delight.

What a fright.
Goodnight.
,

Comments and Feedback for: The love of friends

An interesting Story about a human condition. I found mainly the Emotion: confusion on the side of Phil. I don't know if "happiness" hits it for Mark. It could be more like recognition?

Phil turns 180 degrees in the end, after having been on the Moral high ground we find out he was unfaithful with Mark's wife and now will be with his Mistress...

What kept me from voting for the piece?

Drew you wrote that you had a hard time in writing from a man's perspective. While I believe that there are men like Mark and Phil, it still felt strange. I couldn't connect to either (not after the surprise ending exposing Phil as fraud).
You changed the tellers persepctive for the lat paragraph, this actually is something that sits not well with me. It would have worked equally well or even better if you would have kept the first Person perspective. You could have even put in one or more emotions for Phil (revenge (after all Phil thinks that Mark has undeserved good luck), excitation (a new woman to educe), sadness (I am unfaithful to my friend, but I can't help it...)

Originally posted by @ponderable
Comments and Feedback for: The love of friends

An interesting Story about a human condition. I found mainly the Emotion: confusion on the side of Phil. I don't know if "happiness" hits it for Mark. It could be more like recognition?

Phil turns 180 degrees in the end, after having been on the Moral high ground we find out he was unfaithful with Mark ...[text shortened]... xcitation (a new woman to educe), sadness (I am unfaithful to my friend, but I can't help it...)

I think I understood it different:
Mark is cheating on his wife Trudy for a much younger girl. Phil seems upset and blames his friend for what he is doing, and then we can read that he - Phil - is having an affair with both Trudy and Mark's mistress.
Have I got it right?

Originally posted by @torunn
I think I understood it different:
Mark is cheating on his wife Trudy for a much younger girl. Phil seems upset and blames his friend for what he is doing, and then we can read that he - Phil - is having an affair with both Trudy and Mark's mistress.
Have I got it right?

That is exactly how I understood it. I hope I was not too confusing in my Feedback remarks 🙁

Originally posted by @ponderable
That is exactly how I understood it. I hope I was not too confusing in my Feedback remarks 🙁

I'm sorry, Ponderable - the situation in itself is confusing - everybody's cheating on everybody.

I read it that way too. Great irony!
Phil has a trumpian personality disorder indeed.
I had that one scored at #5 on my list.

Originally posted by @wolfe63
I read it that way too. Great irony!
Phil has a trumpian personality disorder indeed.
I had that one scored at #5 on my list.

Mark is like many other men, or people, falling in and out of love and feels certain that his wife will be there waiting. Phil is just no good, cheating on women as well as his best friend.

Have I got that right?

Originally posted by @torunn
Mark is like many other men, or people, falling in and out of love and feels certain that his wife will be there waiting. Phil is just no good, cheating on women as well as his best friend.

Have I got that right?

Yes.

And then we have Trudy what is she up to, cheating on her husband and wanting another child (by him? 😲)

Originally posted by @ponderable
Yes.

And then we have Trudy what is she up to, cheating on her husband and wanting another child (by him? 😲)

Yes! Everyone is cheating, the mistress too. What a mess...! 🙂

Originally posted by @torunn
Yes! Everyone is cheating, the mistress too. What a mess...! 🙂

Well we can't be sure about Ginny. How about a second Installation about her Encounter with Mark? It could run several ways 😉

Originally posted by @ponderable
Well we can't be sure about Ginny. How about a second Installation about her Encounter with Mark? It could run several ways 😉

Ginny's number was among Phil's cellphone contacts... These guys have to make sure to keep en eye on their phones. I saw a movie recently where the husband kept a second cellphone in the back of his car so he wouldn't bring it into the house - just to be safe. 🙂

Originally posted by @torunn
Ginny's number was among Phil's cellphone contacts... These guys have to make sure to keep en eye on their phones. I saw a movie recently where the husband kept a second cellphone in the back of his car so he wouldn't bring it into the house - just to be safe. 🙂

She is a colleague (Ginny from accounting) so he could have her number anyway...

Originally posted by @ponderable
She is a colleague (Ginny from accounting) so he could have her number anyway...

That's right - he also uses a different name, Ginny. Mark said 'Janine'.

Originally posted by @torunn
That's right - he also uses a different name, Ginny. Mark said 'Janine'.

So we Need Drew to help us out here: Does this (the use of a private Name) constitute a relationship between Phil and Janine/Ginny ?