Any Steven Wright Fans?

"Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!" -Steven Wright

"I have a life-sized map of the US."

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'"

"I installed a skylight in my apartment.... The people who live above me are furious!"

"I like to reminisce with people I don't know."

Steven Wright




😀 <-------------------------------------> 😀

if you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
SW


i once wanted to be steve wright,
but he'z so dang surreal...
that's what keeps us miles apart,
cuz i've only got sex appeal...

rookie

"I got up one morning, couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, 'Hello, Information.'

I said, 'I can't find my socks.' She said, 'They're behind the couch.' And they were!" -Steven Wright

Originally posted by rookie54
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment?

I'm like that all the time.

"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?"

-Steven Wright

You know that feeling you get when you're sitting on a stool and you've leaned back too far and the stool goes up on two legs and for that moment you've caught yourself but you're hanging in the balance, not sure if you're going to fall over backwards? I feel like that all the time...

"The Stones—I love the Stones. I can't believe they're still doing it

after all these years. I watch 'em whenever I can. Fred, Barney... "



-Steven Wright

Met him once in an elevator. His hair is as crazy as his wit.

Originally posted by Busygirl
Met him once in an elevator. His hair is as crazy as his wit.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?



tis tha touch of insanity,
that delivers tha punch...
that zany absurdity,
leaves yer shorts inna bunch...

rookie