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Bad Jokes Part 2

Bad Jokes Part 2

General

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

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whats pink and hard in the mornnig?

the crossword in the financial times





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What's black and white and red all over?

A penguin with stab wounds.
A sunburnt nun.
A newspaper.
etc etc

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Whats pink and wrinckly and hangs out your boxer shorts?

Your mother on washing day.

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Directions on how to catch an elephant -

Burn some forest down to create a clearing , dig a hole , fill it with the ashes . Line the hole with peas . Hide . When the elephant goes to take a pea kick him in the ashhole .

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person 1 : how do you get an elefant in a safeway bad?
person 2: i dont know
person 1: take the f out of safe and the f out of way!
person 2: theres no f in way
person 1: exactly!!

David

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What's red and goes beep beep?

A strawberry in a traffic jam

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How do you gt 100 babies in a mini metro?

A blender and the sunroof

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What is green and goes red at the touch of a button?

A frog in a blender

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Why do witches fly on broom sticks ?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head??

Russell!!

Whats brown and sticky??

A stick

Two fish in a tank
One says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

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if there were tewnty sick sheep and one died how many would be left??

nineteen!

David

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Q. Where does a 500 pound chicken go?

A. Anywhere it wants to!

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Q What do you call a blonde with a machine gun?
A Miss.

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Why did the skeleton burp?

Because he didn't have the guts to fart!

Can you tell I work with 4 years olds?