bad jokes

Why did the banana go to the doctors?
He wasn't peeling very well.

What do you call a three legged donkey?

A wonkey.


I've always had a soft spot for that one.

How would an alien get a baby to sleep?

Rocket

Three of my favorites from childhood .

What do you do when your nose goes on strike ?
Picket .

How do you get down from an elephant ?
You don't - you get down from a goose .

What's black , white , and red and can't get through the door ?
A nun with a spear through her head .

What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

Originally posted by Favs
What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

two fish in a tank and one says to the other " do you know how to drive this thing?"

fred

Two fish swam into a wall. One turned to the other and said: "Dam"

Originally posted by Favs
A man walks into a bar.


Ouch!

where do you find a calander in the jungle?....on a date tree!!! ah ha ha...ha..........ha ...maybe not.

fred

Did you hear about the cannibals that passed the missionary in the jungle ?

A beatnik falls out of a window and on the way down is hit by a car. He's lying in the street and another beatnik comes up to him and says"Hey man, have an accident?"
He says "No thanks man, just had one."

Originally posted by KneverKnight
A beatnik falls out of a window and on the way down is hit by a car. He's lying in the street and another beatnik comes up to him and says"Hey man, have an accident?"
He says "No thanks man, just had one."

A woman walks into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

"Hunting Flies" He responds.

"Oh, are you killing any?" She says.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replies.

Intrigued, she asks. "How can you tell the males from the females?"

He responds, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

q. How do you a duck sing?
a. Put it in the microwave until its bill withers