I had one once- to try and get my licence. it's a pain for about three weeks...all itchy and that. Then either your skin hardens or your hair gets long enough not to annoy you anymore.
Needless to say, the ladies didn't go much for it. But fellows at school would come up and say, hey, 'SJ, nice beard, mate'.
Which roughly translated as 'nice one, you've pulled out of the game, leaving more ladies for me. Cheers, gov!'.
So I shaved it off.
Then I grew a moustache on my erasmus year in Italy. I travelled to see some friends in Rome, and everywhere I went pornstar music followed me. Wah wah guitar. People can be so cruel.
😠But I resisted... and it kind of got into my head - me- a bit of a sex bomb... until out for an evening in a local wine bar, I found myself at a table of 8 girls. Result! Nice one, SJ, you stud, I was thinking.
Then one of them... needless to say the prettiest one... Mamma mia!! Quanto era fiiiiiigggggaaaa! Anyway, she says 'SJ, we've been talking, and we've something to tell you.'
I'm thinking 'is there a single word for 'ménage a 9neuf9', with me in the starring role??'.
'You're a handsome fellow...' she began. I liked... continue, I'll just pick up the whipped cream and leather straps on the way back to my place, girls...
'But you really should shave off that silly moustache'.
A tear came to my eye. And my erection slowly dissipated... until it was no more.