Best excuses!

1.Dog ate scoresheet;
2.Dead batteries in hidden transmitter;
3.Went outside for fresh air, forgot about tournament;
4.Disturbed by own reflection in opponent's sunglasses;
5.Still despondent over 1964 death of Fred Reinfeld;
6.Inexplicably confused ECO A29 line 13 note 87c with ECO A13 line note 87c; lost queen;
7.Unlucky pairing with historical nemesis G. Kasparov;
8.During play, pondered both sides of ICC controversy; lost on time;
9.Studied book *How to Beat Bobby Fischer*; was unprepared for other opponents;
10.After making move, accidentally punched opponent instead of clock.
11.What went wrong with your plan?
He didn't follow it!
12.I became confused of all the bad moves my opponent made, and that`s the reason I lost the game.

Please,add some you know.

13. i only started playing chess yesterday ("Joined on " says otherwise)
14. he started first so had the advantage
15. i started first so he had the advantage

16. I lost to someone with a much lower rating than mine because normally his rating is a lot higher it's just loads of people T/Oed him when he went on vacation last week

Yeah sure, I could have beaten the guy, I was just tired and made a few stupid mistakes...like starting a game with him in the first place, not timing him out when he was on holiday and letting him send me into my paranoid psychotic mode with that cutting remark at the beginning of the game: "Good luck" - what the hell did he mean, good luck. Does he think I need luck?....Yeah, I could have been a contender 🙄

18, To old, can't remember moves.
19, To young, don't know the moves.

20, tooooo druuunkkk shoo i couldnt thhink shhhtraight.🙄🙄

21. Couldn't press browsers' STOP button quickly enough...

22. Oh my, wasn't this a checkers game? 🙄

23. Oh you lose if you are checkmated....l could have sworn....
24. Having to make 30 moves before you go to work to avoid being timed out!

25. O, the little horsey thingies can jump over the other thingies... I didn't know that...

26. Er, I confused my game notes with 'message opponent'

27. Your supposed to be check-mating the opponents king?!? 🙄

28 oh! the little things move!? 😕

29. Oh, I thought the point of the game was to capture the opponents queen!

30. I didn't know what the point of the game was. I just wanted to be polite so I accepted the game