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Canada: The Fifth Column of Evilness.

Canada: The Fifth Column of Evilness.

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Too long have these ruthless killers of baby seals been allowed to roam free. Too long have these beer drinking, slow talking, overly polite servants of Satan been operating unchecked. Now is the time to put an end to the Canadian Fifth Column that undermines world politics.

Canadian's are a damn site more ruthlessly intelligent than most Americans. Canadians engineered a genocidal campaign against the North American Indian that was a model for the holocaust of the Jews and makes the Rwandan slaughter look like a garden party. The North American Indian population was estimated to be close to 12 MILLION screaming red skins in 1500 and by 1900 we were roughly 250,000 shy of exterminating all of them. Sure, intertribal wars and skirmishes with the US contributed to this attrition, however, the early Canadians developed a campaign of germ warfare that in four centuries all but eradicated an entire race of people.

How did they do this you ask? Smallpox was the worst contributor as it was easy to spread on infected blankets handed out to the Natives. This was done deliberately and strategically. While this disease was killing Europeans up until a vaccine was developed in the late 17th century, the ratio of European to Native Indian deaths was in the order of 25+ to 1. With no natural immunity and absolutely no medical treatment, the Indians fell like dominos. Waving an eagle feather in some medicine man ritual to cure smallpox is about as effective as punching yourself in the balls to cure cancer. Today, this whirlwind of death that ravaged the Native population is barely a footnote in the annals of history. Such is the subtle and sinister nature of the Canadian.

The moral of the story, don't mess with the Canadians... actually, the moral is all people are basically evil and self serving, we only do good things when it is easy to do them and benefits our own ends... furthermore, we don't commit attrocities on a regular basis only because we fear the consequences, hence, one of the two reasons religion was created.

SJ247

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Canadian's are a damn site more ruthlessly intelligent than most Americans.
Shame, you should have waited to insert this line until the end. I discounted everything that followed, due to your obvious lack of sanity.

S
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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Too long have these ruthless killers of baby seals been allowed to roam free. Too long have these beer drinking, slow talking, overly polite servants of Satan been operating unchecked. Now is the time to put an end to the Canadian Fifth Column that undermines world politics.

Canadian's are a damn site more ruthlessly intelligent than most America is only because we fear the consequences, hence, one of the two reasons religion was created.
Yeah, the above is certainly a good reason to now go and commit Canadian genocide!!!!!!!!!! Who's with me???????


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C
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Why is maple syrup so damn expensive here, MFingH?

I know we have to import the stuff, but surely 6 times more expensive than normal syrup is just plain ridiculous....

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Originally posted by Crowley
Why is maple syrup so damn expensive here, MFingH?

I know we have to import the stuff, but surely 6 times more expensive than normal syrup is just plain ridiculous....
Well, it's not like you need to be eating any more maple syrup you fat bastard.

Plus, its not easy to harvest enough 'sap' to make the roughly 6 million gallons we Canadians produce every year. Contrary to the quaint popular belief, maple syrup is not harvested from maple trees. This is a elaborate smoke screen for how maple syrup is really made.

In reality, we have domesticated extremely large grubs, a relative of the witchetty grub found commonly in Australia. These grubs are kept underground in large holding pens and, when force fed dried maple leaves, grow to 40-50lbs. This force feeding makes the grubs sterile and unable to turn into the moths they typically would. However, it does make them excrete a pleasantly sweet 'sap' which is then boiled down to the syrup that you squirt over your pancakes.

With regards to the relative cost of syrup in Africa as compared to Canada, this is a function of supply and demand and the associated cost of production. First of all, the overhead involved in production, even with the use of forced child labor, is significant. The secretion rooms need to be kept at a constant 80F and this is challenging when you consider the best production times are concentrated in February, March and April. In addition, you have to feed and clothe the Asian and 3rd World orphans that collect the sap (hence, Canada's liberal immigration policies). Secondly, supply far exceeds demand in Canada. The Canadians simply don't touch the nasty stuff, whereas, you fat South Africans gobble it up like it's going out of style.

I hope this answers your question. Let me know if you have any other concerns about Canada.

C

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Too long have these ruthless killers of baby seals been allowed to roam free. Too long have these beer drinking, slow talking, overly polite servants of Satan been operating unchecked. Now is the time to put an end to the Canadian Fifth Column that undermines world politics.

Canadian's are a damn site more ruthlessly intelligent than most America ...[text shortened]... is only because we fear the consequences, hence, one of the two reasons religion was created.
cool 😕 😴

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C
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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I hope this answers your question. Let me know if you have any other concerns about Canada.
Do Canadians cook their eggs to look like bacon strips, because your bacon is roond?

l

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Too long have these ruthless killers of baby seals been allowed to roam free. Too long have these beer drinking, slow talking, overly polite servants of Satan been operating unchecked. Now is the time to put an end to the Canadian Fifth Column that undermines world politics.

Canadian's are a damn site more ruthlessly intelligent than most America ...[text shortened]... is only because we fear the consequences, hence, one of the two reasons religion was created.
... uh... i think it's time to lay off the drugs.

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Originally posted by Crowley
Do Canadians cook their eggs to look like bacon strips, because your bacon is roond?
I was not familiar with the cooking of eggs to look like bacon. However, I can tell you that Canadian Bacon is simply the lean,meaty cut of bacon taken from the back of a pig or a large child under the age of 12. The children selected for bacon harvesting are acquired as part of a financial settlement when their parents default on a loan through any of the Canadian National Banks.

As far as why the bacon is round, that is a mystery that has been lost to the ages.

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Originally posted by Choreant
cool 😕 😴
Get stuffed.

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Originally posted by lordsquire
... uh... i think it's time to lay off the drugs.
You 2.

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This just in: Canadians invented 5 pin bowling and the cobalt bomb.

S

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
This just in: Canadians invented 5 pin bowling and the cobalt bomb.
Do you guys eat round bacon?

C

Solaris

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Get stuffed.
I got . After I read your thread. 😞

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