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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris donates generously to the Salvation Army.

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Originally posted by darvlay
Jesus Christ.

I give up with you.
Just because you are frustrated with me doesn't mean you have to abandon your Christian beliefs. Would Chuck Norris do that???

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Originally posted by blindcheesecake
When you get hit by lightning it does not feal to good either.
Yeah, feal. As in "I "feal" good".
.

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Originally posted by ark13
Chuck Norris donates generously to the Salvation Army.
I was a sargeant in the Salvation Army.

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Originally posted by ark13
When Chuck Norris is in line, he gets to move to the front through intimidation.
Be damned if he gets in frunna me! 😠

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Chuck Norris eats hand grenades and pees gasoline.

Chuck Norris wiped his butt with the Iron Curtain just to start a fight with the entire Russian army...he won.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks satellites into orbit for NASA so he can make rocket fuel and tonics.

Chuck Norris spells his name any way he damn well pleases. He spells your name any way he damn well pleases too if you know what's go for you, LLasdfjbdskfn.

If Chuck Norris needs to borrow your arms, just let 'em go man...just let 'em go.

After Chuck Norris saw "Karate Kid", he roundhouse kicked Ralph Macchio so hard he bounced out of Hell and came back out as Matthew Perry.

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Originally posted by ark13
As a young adult, Chuck Norris excersized and practiced martial arts to acheive the level of extertice he now posesses.
Jean Claude Van Dam can destroy Norris.

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Originally posted by TRAINS44
Jean Claude Van Dam can destroy Norris.
Jean Claude Van Dam once had so many names he became a sissy actor/director and produced some of the most disappointing and unintentionally funny martial arts movies ever.

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Chuck Norris is a moderately skilled bridge player.

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Chuck Norris once set an orphanage on fire only to minutes later rescue the orphans and workers inside to jumpstart his career after "Walker Texas Ranger" went off the air.

When thrown into a pool of water, Chuck Norris sinks, thus proving he is not a witch.

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Alpha-bullets (with marshmallows).

Chuck Norris can't use a computer.

Chuck Norris helped Al Gore invent the Internet.

Chuck Norris once went Big Game hunting in the Amazon with just his fists, a Zippo, a Mariah Carrie album, and a matchbox car.

Chuck Norris will eventually be Knighted and will formally be known as "Sir Chuck Norris".

Chuck Norris is Prime Minister of Congo.

Chuck Norris was nominated for a Supreme Court judge position but was later turned down because of his extreme communist views.

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Chuck Norris is Dutch for "Can't act"

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Chuck Norris is 65 years old, and I think can only be seen in info-mercials and reruns.

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Originally posted by GalaxyShield
Chuck Norris once set an orphanage on fire only to minutes later rescue the orphans and workers inside to jumpstart his career after "Walker Texas Ranger" went off the air.

When thrown into a pool of water, Chuck Norris sinks, thus proving he is not a witch.

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Alpha-bullets (with marshmallows).

Chuck Norris can't ...[text shortened]... eme Court judge position but was later turned down because of his extreme communist views.
Dont forget ..Norris is so fast he can switch off the light switch in his bedroom and be in bed before the room gets dark.

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chuck norris is so fast he can boil minute rice in 3 seconds!!!

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Originally posted by irishhebrew82
chuck norris is so fast he can boil minute rice in 3 seconds!!!
Now I think all this about Norris is gonna make me puke. 65 years old? Time for the nursing home.