Colemanballs

These are named after the legendary Sports Commentator David Coleman and are gaffes made by sports commentators or stars.

For example :

Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.
David Beckham

I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.
David Beckham

My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.
David Beckham

Anyone got any personal favourites?

"For those of you watching in black and white, the Brown ball is the one next to the yellow ball"

Ted Lowe (British snooker commentator)

I can't remember the name of this explayer who was in the broadcast booth providing color commentary during an american football game , but it went very much like this :
"You see that gap , that hole between the guard and the center ? That's the 'B' gap , or hole . You see that hole between the tackle and the guard ? That's the 'A' hole . You can see Smith as he gets hit right in the 'A'hole !"

Same commentator in a different game trying to discribe the size of a players backside , but obviously not knowing the proper terminology -
"There's Tootie Robins . People wonder why he's so good at blocking , well it's not just his wieght , it's that he's got a low center of gravity . See his rectum ? His rectum is so big I can see it from here . He probably has the largest rectum I've ever seen in the NFL . See if the camera can zoom in on his rectum ."

Originally posted by Moldy Crow
I can't remember the name of this explayer who was in the broadcast booth providing color commentary during an american football game , but it went very much like this :
"You see that gap , that hole between the guard and the center ? That's the 'B' gap , or hole . You see that hole between the tackle and the guard ? That's the 'A' hole . You can ...[text shortened]... the largest rectum I've ever seen in the NFL . See if the camera can zoom in on his rectum ."

lat saturday, dick campbell manager of glasgow's number one football team partick thistle commenting on the first goal we lost before a crucial 3-1 win

"our defence committed adultery out there!"

still a thistle legend!

I've posted this before but here goes.Enjoy

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports
commentators during the Olympics that they would
like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava
from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during
her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely
horse and I speak from personal experience since I
once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents,
especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,
and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them
really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I
should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the
opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it
all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the
cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is
playing so well is that, before the final round, his
wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my
God, what have I just said?"

Craig Bellamy (English Football player) whilst being interviewed about his falling out with Graeme Souness (his manager, (in the US thats pronounced 'coach'😉) on Sky TV last weekend
"He's gone behind my back, right infront of my face!"
Ah, the beautiful game.

Originally posted by chris stephens
manager of glasgow's number one football team partick thistle

And again:
http://www.timeforchess.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=11415

Can't remember who said this (I didn't actually hear it, before my time) commentating on a game between the windies and the pommies:

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willy

Originally posted by shavixmir
Something's not right here.
I don't know what it is, I can't put my finger on it...but something just ain't quite right!

Kevin Keegan during France '98:

"There's only one team that can win this now"

"Oh sure ... it is a relegation battle, a crisis game and I'm under pressure. In fact, I don't know how I'm going to pay my mortgage this month. Oh no, I haven't got a mortgage, have I?" - Harry Redknapp (before losing his job)

Not so much a "colemanball", but a superb sporting analogy from Ian Holloway, manager of QPR, trying to explain away a particularly lacklustre victory against Chesterfield:

"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled.

Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi.

She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee"

Genius....

I did hear one of the Talksport commentators in the recent England v. South Africa cricket series say "There's still a lot of seam 'n' shine on the ball" 😲

there goes the 19 year old sprinter who turned 20 last week.

fred