General Forum

General Forum

  1. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
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    33672
    06 Jan '17 12:56
    I only know coca-cola and lime juice.

    Care to share some? I ran out of limes at home and I really can't go to the pharmacy right now to buy imodium.

    It really is THAT bad.
  2. Joined
    01 Apr '05
    Moves
    57586
    06 Jan '17 13:551 edit
    Originally posted by Seitse
    I only know coca-cola and lime juice.

    Care to share some? I ran out of limes at home and I really can't go to the pharmacy right now to buy imodium.

    It really is THAT bad.
    Hmm. Sometimes a 'hair of the dog' approach can be most efficacious.
    A couple of pints of vindaloo washed down with a gallon of lager should blast the system spotlessly clean.
    Let me know how you get on.
  3. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
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    06 Jan '17 16:59
    I'll try suicide.
  4. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    A Spirited Misfit
    in London
    Joined
    14 Mar '15
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    10567
    06 Jan '17 18:33
    Originally posted by Seitse
    I'll try suicide.
    Perhaps start sir with more fibre in your diet.

    There will be a small administration charge for this advice.

    Dr Ghost
  5. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
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    33672
    06 Jan '17 18:41
    Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
    Perhaps start sir with more fibre in your diet.

    There will be a small administration charge for this advice.

    Dr Ghost
    Dude, I want to stop crapping, not to boost it.

    Can I pay with crap?
  6. Subscriberlemondrop
    pawn grabber
    Joined
    19 Jul '13
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    196502
    06 Jan '17 18:47
    Originally posted by Seitse
    Dude, I want to stop crapping, not to boost it.

    Can I pay with crap?
    actually the addition of fiber is a good thing
    the excess water in your colon would be sucked up
    if that doesn't help
    try a plug
  7. SubscriberGhost of a Duke
    A Spirited Misfit
    in London
    Joined
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    10567
    06 Jan '17 18:54
    Originally posted by Seitse
    Dude, I want to stop crapping, not to boost it.

    Can I pay with crap?
    Only if fossilized.


    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolite
  8. Account suspended
    Joined
    10 Dec '11
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    143494
    06 Jan '17 19:14
    A pinch of grated raw wild chestnut (*very bitter, awfully bitter) in warm camomile-mynth tea. Two cups.
  9. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
    Joined
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    33672
    06 Jan '17 19:23
    Originally posted by vandervelde
    A pinch of grated raw wild chestnut (*very bitter, awfully bitter) in warm camomile-mynth tea. Two cups.
    Genius. I have those ingredients. Will try now.

    If I die, I will appear to you as a ghost, during your sleep, and sing
    Britney Spears greatest hits until you commit suicide.
  10. Subscriberdivegeester
    digital entity
    libera te ex inferis
    Joined
    16 Feb '08
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    88258
    06 Jan '17 19:49
    Originally posted by Seitse
    I only know coca-cola and lime juice.

    Care to share some? I ran out of limes at home and I really can't go to the pharmacy right now to buy imodium.

    It really is THAT bad.
    What about poo or willies or vaginas?

    Oh, sorry, this is about poo...
  11. Standard memberSeitse
    Doug Stanhope
    That's Why I Drink
    Joined
    01 Jan '06
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    33672
    06 Jan '17 20:47
    Originally posted by divegeester
    What about poo or willies or vaginas?
    Keep your deviant ways to yourself, pervert chav. I am really sick but
    of course you love that, don't you? You Headhunters push blacks off
    subway cars like in Paris, so why not some stomach pain for poor old
    seitse?
  12. Joined
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    137868
    06 Jan '17 21:02
    Originally posted by Seitse
    Genius. I have those ingredients. Will try now.

    If I die, I will appear to you as a ghost, during your sleep, and sing
    Britney Spears greatest hits until you commit suicide.
    You can always sit on the toilet singing

    OOPS !! I did it again !!

    Over and over again .... 😀
    Sorry. Get well soon.🙂
  13. Subscribermoonbus
    Uber-Nerd
    Joined
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    2365
    06 Jan '17 21:56
    Originally posted by Seitse
    Dude, I want to stop crapping, not to boost it.
    Stop eating. Guaranteed to work (eventually).
  14. Joined
    01 Apr '05
    Moves
    57586
    07 Jan '17 00:371 edit
    Seriously. Plenty of water. Eat salty crackers in moderation and probiotics can help if you have them. Oh and avoid vindaloo and lager..
  15. Joined
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    Moves
    8742
    07 Jan '17 00:40
    Originally posted by mghrn55
    You can always sit on the toilet singing

    OOPS !! I did it again !!

    Over and over again .... 😀
    Sorry. Get well soon.🙂
    Oh, Britney. She used to be such a goddess.
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