Ellipticals - Tools of the Devil

Every time I go to the gym the elliptical a call to me. "Don't worry." They say. "This time will be different. We'll be gentle." It always seems such a good idea. Low impact, hot sweaty chicks, upper body workout, almost like floating through a workout." But, no, every time is a god damn calamity. A while ago I waved at a friend, slipped off and pummelled myself in the nuts (this has actually happened several times). I always retreat to the picks or the track with a lower chance of maiming my groin. Well f me if today didn't seem like an elliptical kind of day. Sufficient it to say that after a good start I dropped my iPod and crushed it under the cycling elliptical wheels of doom.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate

Every time I go to the gym the elliptical a call to me. "Don't worry." They say. "This time will be different. We'll be gentle." It always seems such a good idea. Low impact, hot sweaty chicks, upper body workout, almost like floating through a workout." But, no, every time is a god damn calamity. A while ago I waved at a friend, slipped off ...[text shortened]... good start I dropped my iPod and crushed it under the cycling elliptical wheels of doom.

Ouch!

I possess a device, in my pocket, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man.

I use it to look at pictures of cats and get in arguments with strangers.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Every time I go to the gym the elliptical a call to me. "Don't worry." They say. "This time will be different. We'll be gentle." It always seems such a good idea. Low impact, hot sweaty chicks, upper body workout, almost like floating through a workout." But, no, every time is a god damn calamity. A while ago I waved at a friend, slipped off a ...[text shortened]... good start I dropped my iPod and crushed it under the cycling elliptical wheels of doom.

That is funny as hell, if only it were true! 😛

Originally posted by ChessPraxis

I use it to look at pictures of cats and get in arguments with strangers.

I still do! 😉 😛

Originally posted by ChessPraxis
I possess a device, in my pocket, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man.

I use it to look at pictures of cats and get in arguments with strangers.

Mjau

Originally posted by Very Rusty
That is funny as hell, if only it were true! 😛

Can't you take anyone's word for anything, you loudmouthed child?

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Every time I go to the gym the elliptical a call to me. "Don't worry." They say. "This time will be different. We'll be gentle." It always seems such a good idea. Low impact, hot sweaty chicks, upper body workout, almost like floating through a workout." But, no, every time is a god damn calamity. A while ago I waved at a friend, slipped off a ...[text shortened]... good start I dropped my iPod and crushed it under the cycling elliptical wheels of doom.

I would pay to see this on an IMAX screen. 🙂

Originally posted by Suzianne
Can't you take anyone's word for anything?

Fixed! 😛 😉 😉

He is a perpetual story teller, my daughter!

Of course you could be his female version only not as sharp. 😛 😉

Do you get the toilet tissue for him? Just wondering! 😉

Originally posted by Very Rusty
Fixed! 😛 😉 😉

He is a perpetual story teller, my daughter!

Of course you could be his female version only not as sharp. 😛 😉

Do you get the toilet tissue for him? Just wondering! 😉

I'm ashamed to be a fellow Canadian.😳

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
I'm ashamed to be a fellow Canadian.😳

The guys a garbage man from Nova Scotia, it's not like you can expect much.

What's wrong with Nova Scotia? Apart from the obvious.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Every time I go to the gym the elliptical a call to me. "Don't worry." They say. "This time will be different. We'll be gentle." It always seems such a good idea. Low impact, hot sweaty chicks, upper body workout, almost like floating through a workout." But, no, every time is a god damn calamity. A while ago I waved at a friend, slipped off a ...[text shortened]... good start I dropped my iPod and crushed it under the cycling elliptical wheels of doom.

God damn.

When I get the inclination, I speed walk on a treadmill at a 10% incline. None of that running nonsense -- that ruins the knees.

Originally posted by Kewpie
What's wrong with Nova Scotia? Apart from the obvious.

Nova Scotians walk like Welshmen. That's what's wrong.

Originally posted by Widdershins
Nova Scotians walk like Welshmen. That's what's wrong.

You're running backwards.