Favourite Insults of All Time

What's your favourite insult?


"Sir, I'd invite you to kiss my ass but I'm afraid you might take it as an invitation rather than the insult it was meant to be."

(Looking at a newborn baby)
I didn't know you bought a pet monkey.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
- Groucho Marx

McAngus - "I hope life doesn't become too dull now that you won't be able to pass laws over Scotland."
Blackadder - "I wouldn't pass water over Scotland."

On being asked if he wandted to play a round of golf with someone he didn't like....
"Tell him, if i want to play with a prick, i'll play with my own"

W C Fields

There was a playwriter and a critic and basically they just hate each other - they were french.

So when the author launched his new play, he sent two tickets to the fellow critic with a note "come with a friend if you ever happen to have one"

The critic sent back the invitation for the premiere with a note "unfortunately I wont be able to make it for the first show, but I'll go to the second show, if it ever happen to be one"

You're uzless aren't you?

Woman - 'If you were my husband I'd poison your drink!'
Winston Churchill - 'If you were my wife I'd drink it.'

Originally posted by ElleEffSeee
Woman

Originally posted by Bowmann
It was Lady Astor.

And you misquoted.

Great Thread..!

Pure Python: "Your mother is a hampster and your father smells of elderberries!"

Churchill revisited..

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."

Me and my husband have different religious belief. He thinks he's God, I don't.

Life is all about opinions - when I want yours I'll give it to you!

Opinions are like a#@holes, everyone has one!