Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! You're cured, mate. Bloody do-gooder.
Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the ass to be blunt and excuse my French, sir.
Beard and stone seller: Stone, sir?
Mother: No, they've got a lot there, lying around on the ground.
Beard and stone seller: Oh, not like these, sir. Look at this! Feel the quality of that, that's craftmanship, sir.
Mother: Hmm...all right, we'll have two with points and...a big flat one.
Brian: Could I have a flat one, mum?
Mother: Ssch!
Brian: Sorry! Dad!
Mother: Ehm...all right, two points, ahm...two flats and a packet of gravel.
Beard and stone seller: Packet of gravel. Should be a good one this afternoon.
Mother: Hm?
Beard and stone seller: Local boy.
Mother: Oh, good.
Beard and stone seller: Enjoy yourselves!
Man: Inspector, inspector.
Inspector: Uh huh.
Man: I'm terribly sorry but I was sitting on a park bench over there, took my coat off for a minute and then I found my wallet had been stolen and £15 taken from it.
Inspector: Well did you er, did you see anyone take it, anyone hanging around or...
Man: No no, there was no one there at all. That's the trouble.
Inspector: Well there's not very much we can do about that, sir.
Man: Do you want to come back to my place?
Inspector: ... Yeah all right.