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Has this happened to you before?

Has this happened to you before?

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So there I was, going to work. I arrived about an hour early so I decided to go to the mall. On the way there, a rumbling rose from my abdomen giving me the "T minus 5 minutes and counting" signal before my colon emptied, where ever I happened to be at the time.

So I pulled into another mall (not the one I was going to but one before it) and found a parking space. Of course it had to be a busy Saturday so the parking space was seven miles from the mall so I started squeezing and walking. Now this is a weird phenomena that occurred: it was 75 degrees out, I had goosebumps on both arms with sweat pouring down my face...

So I finally get to the mall and I'm on the first floor and the nearest bathroom is on the second floor. So I jump on the escalator and you know there has to be people letting the escalator do the work while I'm trying to run up them.

I finally get to the second floor and begin the half-mile walk down the corridor to the bathroom (which never made sense to me). I get there and there is an open stall so I run into it and lock the door.

Now I don't know what it is about seeing the toilet but your body says, "Alright, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here." So there I am in the 2"x2" stall battling my belt. I'm falling into the door and the walls trying to get my belt undone praying to whatever I believe in followed by periods of incomprehensiable strings of profanity.

When I finally I get the belt off, all I have to do is unbutton my pants which takes a minute. And I'll tell you something, it was a photo finish. Now my question is, does anyone else have this much trouble going to the restroom when you HAVE TO GO NOW?

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Originally posted by slappy115
So there I was, going to work. I arrived about an hour early so I decided to go to the mall. On the way there, a rumbling rose from my abdomen giving me the "T minus 5 minutes and counting" signal before my colon emptied, where ever I happened to be at the time.

So I pulled into another mall (not the one I was going to but one before it) and found a ...[text shortened]... s anyone else have this much trouble going to the restroom when you HAVE TO GO NOW?
Not often. But half the times I've had an experience similar to your's there was no paper.

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Originally posted by slappy115
So there I was, going to work. I arrived about an hour early so I decided to go to the mall. On the way there, a rumbling rose from my abdomen giving me the "T minus 5 minutes and counting" signal before my colon emptied, where ever I happened to be at the time.

So I pulled into another mall (not the one I was going to but one before it) and found a ...[text shortened]... s anyone else have this much trouble going to the restroom when you HAVE TO GO NOW?
When I do expierence something like that, I often take too long, so my body decides that, "Since you held it in, you can deal with it for the rest of the night. MUHAHAHA!"

But that beats going in my pantoons any day.

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Originally posted by slappy115
So there I was, going to work. I arrived about an hour early so I decided to go to the mall. On the way there, a rumbling rose from my abdomen giving me the "T minus 5 minutes and counting" signal before my colon emptied, where ever I happened to be at the time.

So I pulled into another mall (not the one I was going to but one before it) and found a ...[text shortened]... s anyone else have this much trouble going to the restroom when you HAVE TO GO NOW?
I didn't read the whole post. It was too long and lost my attention. Now I'm going to have some water and lay down.

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This thread stinks!😕

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Originally posted by slappy115
So there I was, going to work. I arrived about an hour early so I decided to go to the mall. On the way there, a rumbling rose from my abdomen giving me the "T minus 5 minutes and counting" signal before my colon emptied, where ever I happened to be at the time.

So I pulled into another mall (not the one I was going to but one before it) and found a ...[text shortened]... s anyone else have this much trouble going to the restroom when you HAVE TO GO NOW?
You walked 7 1/2 miles in under 5 minutes?

I'm pretty sure that's some kind of world record. If only every track runner had that kind of motivation...People would be running the 100m in under 4 seconds.

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It's like deja vu all over again.

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Originally posted by GalaxyShield
You walked 7 1/2 miles in under 5 minutes?
How did you work that out? He talked about parking, I would expect that would have something to do with a car me thinks.

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Originally posted by expressiveoutburst
How did you work that out? He talked about parking, I would expect that would have something to do with a car me thinks.
Maybe not. I'm sure I've set new land speed records while poltergiesting to bathrooms when I've had a beef torpedo that was prairie-dogging.

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Originally posted by expressiveoutburst
How did you work that out? He talked about parking, I would expect that would have something to do with a car me thinks.
He said that the parking space was seven miles from the mall, and the bathroom was half a mile from the escalator.

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Originally posted by Nordlys
He said that the parking space was seven miles from the mall, and the bathroom was half a mile from the escalator.
I think he was slightly exaggerating to give effect to the story 😉

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Originally posted by GalaxyShield
You walked 7 1/2 miles in under 5 minutes?

I'm pretty sure that's some kind of world record. If only every track runner had that kind of motivation...People would be running the 100m in under 4 seconds.
I was hoping that people would realize that the distances were exaggerated for effect.

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Originally posted by expressiveoutburst
I think he was slightly exaggerating to give effect to the story 😉
I'm glad someone figured out that puzzle...🙄

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Originally posted by slappy115
I'm glad someone figured out that puzzle...🙄
I had a problem like that on my first plane trip. Landing in St.Louis did a number on my system. I planned to do a little sightseeing during my layover to San Fran but I spent most of that hour in the john.