26 May 05
my friend is a freshman in highschool like me (15 years old). Today i just found out that over the weeked, she had sex with a junior. I've tried to explain it, but how do u talk to her about what could happen? She doesnt think she'll get pregnant or contract any diseases, as long as her partner uses a condom. On top of this, she has given oral sex 3 or 4 times in the past month. Its almost like she is falling apart. Should i be as angry as i am at her? Are some people so stupid that they cant be helped?? How can i help her see what she's doing is wrong???
thanks for any help
-todd
26 May 05
Originally posted by TDR1It's natural for people around her (and my) age to try that sort of stuff...being a guy, I don't know about the oral sex, but just try a talk...that may help.
my friend is a freshman in highschool like me (15 years old). Today i just found out that over the weeked, she had sex with a junior. I've tried to explain it, but how do u talk to her about what could happen? She doesnt think she'll get pregnant or contract any diseases, as long as her partner uses a condom. On top of this, she has given oral sex 3 or 4 time ...[text shortened]... be helped?? How can i help her see what she's doing is wrong???
thanks for any help
-todd
26 May 05
1 edit
Originally posted by TDR1You can tell her how strong you feel about this... heck, you posted it to thousands of people on a chess site.
my friend is a freshman in highschool like me (15 years old). Today i just found out that over the weeked, she had sex with a junior. I've tried to explain it, but how do u talk to her about what could happen? She doesnt think she'll get pre ...[text shortened]... r see what she's doing is wrong???
thanks for any help
-todd
My advice is let her know how you feel, and let it go if she's going to do as she pleases. Other than that, what can you do?
ES
26 May 05
2 edits
Originally posted by TDR1Hey sounds like me.. kinda.. im a dude.. i've ben sexually active since 14... dont know wether to be prouda that or not.. but i've ben with hmm... whell.. more people that i'd like to talk about..lol.. but in more than half of these cases have not worn protection.. yes i have a death wish... but to date.. whell last time i was tested was like last year... and ive only ben with "a few" people since then... i'm still a clean doobie... woo woo.. so... if she wants ta be a hoe theres not much ya can do about it... just encourage her to be safe and not as stoooopid as I.
my friend is a freshman in highschool like me (15 years old). Today i just found out that over the weeked, she had sex with a junior. I've tried to explain it, but how do u talk to her about what could happen? She doesnt think she'll get pre ...[text shortened]... r see what she's doing is wrong???
thanks for any help
-todd
EDIT: oh and to date no confermed kids ether.. and only one ex that had an abortion...
26 May 05
Originally posted by TDR1oral sex 3-4 times ...ooooo .... can you give me her e-mail adress or phone number ...? and please attach a photo if possible !
my friend is a freshman in highschool like me (15 years old). Today i just found out that over the weeked, she had sex with a junior. I've tried to explain it, but how do u talk to her about what could happen? She doesnt think she'll get pregnant or contract any diseases, as long as her partner uses a condom. On top of this, she has given oral sex 3 or 4 time ...[text shortened]... be helped?? How can i help her see what she's doing is wrong???
thanks for any help
-todd
26 May 05
Originally posted by TDR1Todd,
my friend is a freshman in highschool like me (15 years old). Today i just found out that over the weeked, she had sex with a junior. I've tried to explain it, but how do u talk to her about what could happen? She doesnt think she'll get pregnant or contract any diseases, as long as her partner uses a condom. On top of this, she has given oral sex 3 or 4 time ...[text shortened]... be helped?? How can i help her see what she's doing is wrong???
thanks for any help
-todd
My opinion on how to help your friend.
First, Stop judging her, very few people listen well when they feel they must defend themselves.
Second, Go get good, solid info about Birth Contol/Pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases from your local teen center, public health center, or Planned Parenthood. You can also get the same information on-line.
Third, Get your facts straight. Your attitude under control,you want to be calm and caring. Pick your words carefully. Do no call her names, judge, condem or get angry. Practice what you think you need to say.
Fourth, Talk to her in a private place and at time when you are not rushed. Your words might sound like:
Susie, I value your friendship and I may be out of line but if you could listen to me for a couple of minutes, I would really appreciate it. I am a concerned about some of the choices you are making. I want you to be safe and healthy so I got this pample (or printed this page, not too much stuff, please) and I wanted to share it.(You should pick a pertinent fact or two from the info you have gathered and share it.)
She may continue the conversation, she may not but you will have given her some info and done so with respect. Make sure she knows that you care, where you got the info and where she can go to get more IF she chooses. She may blow you off, she may get angry but if you are respectfully she now knows you care and will try to help.
At some point in time you could point out that our culture is still hugely hypocritical....girls who are sexually active get judged harshly for the same behaviors that boys get away with.
Please note: many girls and women who appear to be overly active sexually have been sexually abused as children....she may be acting out in the only way she can...if this is the case and she shares that info, try to get her to a call your local women's shelter or rape crisis line.
26 May 05
Originally posted by D43M0NI suggest you learn about oral sex, being a guy has nothing to do with it and there's no better way to show you know what you are doing in bed.
It's natural for people around her (and my) age to try that sort of stuff...being a guy, I don't know about the oral sex, but just try a talk...that may help.
Anyway, my advice is to be supportive and encourage her to address why she is acting the way she is, it may just be that she is sexually active at an early age, but it may also be linked to troubles in her life etc.
ABOVE ALL ELSE, convince her to be sensible about it if she continues to do it. Protection is a must and that doesn't mean just being on the pill, ALWAYS use a condom. She should only go with people she knows, never with someone she meets somewhere else, at 15 she's far too vulnerable to be out and about.
Basically confront her in a supportive way and make sure that if she is going to continue, she does it with regard to her safety both biologically and physically
26 May 05
1 edit
Originally posted by StarrmanFirst of all, I meant in a way a girl would do it. I'm not dumb. 😛
I suggest you learn about oral sex, being a guy has nothing to do with it and there's no better way to show you know what you are doing in bed.
Anyway, my advice is to be supportive and encourage her to address why she is acting the wa ...[text shortened]... does it with regard to her safety both biologically and physically
EDIT - Wrong choice of smilie, too...