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I got a ransom note!

I got a ransom note!

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I am so afraid what should I do?
Here’s what it said:

We of the greybeard clan have kidnapped princess Yucapan.
We demand one hundred teenage virgins or she will surely be sacrifices to Eros.

I heard these greybeards are powerful warriors in black cowskin and they ride iron horses!
What should I do?

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard

What should I do?
Become a greybeard and demand one hundred teenage virgins.

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
I am so afraid what should I do?
Here’s what it said:

We of the greybeard clan have kidnapped princess Yucapan.
We demand one hundred teenage virgins or she will surely be sacrifices to Eros.

I heard these greybeards are powerful warriors in black cowskin and they ride iron horses!
What should I do?
Keep the hundred virgins... princess Yucapan isn't worth it in my mind.

P-

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good luck finding any teenage virgins these days

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
I am so afraid what should I do?
Here’s what it said:

We of the greybeard clan have kidnapped princess Yucapan.
We demand one hundred teenage virgins or she will surely be sacrifices to Eros.

I heard these greybeards are powerful warriors in black cowskin and they ride iron horses!
What should I do?
If it's your first ransom note , then you should frame it . Like when a business frames it's first dollar . These things don't come along every day , you know . I wish I would have framed my first one .

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What are they going to do with the virgins if they get 'em? Sacrifice them?

That would be their traditional tactic. In which case, you'd have to be pretty biased to favour 1 life over 100.

What you should really do is stall for time while Princess Yucapan uses her natural cunning to take the large but terminally stupid guard by surprise and make good her escape. If she's not up to the task, then take the best available virgin and princess-ize her.

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Originally posted by orfeo
What you should really do is stall for time while Princess Yucapan uses her natural cunning to take the large but terminally stupid guard by surprise and make good her escape. If she's not up to the task, then take the best available virgin and princess-ize her.
How do you know if Princess Yucapan is a virgin?

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Originally posted by schakuhr
How do you know if Princess Yucapan is a virgin?
I don't. Does it matter? I didn't say it mattered.

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
I am so afraid what should I do?
Here’s what it said:

We of the greybeard clan have kidnapped princess Yucapan.
We demand one hundred teenage virgins or she will surely be sacrifices to Eros.

I heard these greybeards are powerful warriors in black cowskin and they ride iron horses!
What should I do?
call a producer and start a reality tv show. make sure this yarn lasts at least twelve episodes

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Alternative response: If you're going to be sacrificed, then being sacrified to Eros sure sounds like a good way to go.

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Originally posted by orfeo
I don't. Does it matter? I didn't say it mattered.
You might have some trouble if she already has a prince with whom she has screwed.

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
I am so afraid what should I do?
Here’s what it said:

We of the greybeard clan have kidnapped princess Yucapan.
We demand one hundred teenage virgins or she will surely be sacrifices to Eros.

I heard these greybeards are powerful warriors in black cowskin and they ride iron horses!
What should I do?
Rip up the note.

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Originally posted by schakuhr
You might have some trouble if she already has a prince with whom she has screwed.
Go back and read what I said. I was getting a new princess if Yucapan didn't make it. Yucapan is yesterday's news.

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Originally posted by LordOfTheChessboard
I am so afraid what should I do?
Here’s what it said:

We of the greybeard clan have kidnapped princess Yucapan.
We demand one hundred teenage virgins or she will surely be sacrifices to Eros.

I heard these greybeards are powerful warriors in black cowskin and they ride iron horses!
What should I do?
Rip up the note. Virgins are too messy.

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Originally posted by orfeo
Go back and read what I said. I was getting a new princess if Yucapan didn't make it. Yucapan is yesterday's news.
Hmm, I should've asked if you would replace her secretly, so noone knows that the real princess is dead.
You might have a problem because you don't know if she's a virgin, while some "insiders" might know about that.