Originally posted by FreakyKBHReading this, I recognise every part of it as being an accurate description of my own situation...and yet I have been married for over thirty years. I don't know if it is laziness or optimism that has kept it all together..concern over the effect on the kids is a major part I guess..but eventually they will be gone and we will be alone in the house together, heaven help us !!! I'm sure that you, like me have plenty of times when everything is ok, but the underlying tensions always re-surface. I've now depressed myself, so I'm going for a run !!!!!
Hey, yo. For what it's worth:
My lot is similar to yours, in that the anticipated perfection simply forgot to show up. Ask my wife of 17 years and she'll say the same thing from her perspective. The problem (always) is the other; it's never my unrealistic expectations, nor could it be my skewed version of reality. It's not a matter of different tast ...[text shortened]... y cheek. She'd rather get licked by the family dog.
I'll make sure he's in the room.
To FreakyKBH and ayceebee
I really appreasiate your posts, that's kind of how things were for a long time but that's what makes me so angry, while things weren't improving, I waited, hoped and gently tried to nudge things in the right direction but he decided to take another road after all that I'd put up with. I hope that dosen't happen to you, it's a horrible empty and desolate feeling. If there weren't four children I had to stay strong for I'd stay in bed forever more and not bother with life. Becasue what is life if we don't have someone to share it with?
I wish I could comfort you in some better way but you are having a hard time now, we can all tell. But in all your unhappiness with how things develop and your disappointments, there may still be improvements, if you split up:
Four children really need all your time and energy - you will have more of that on your own with less quarrels and upsetting situations.
You also have had a fifth person to care for, maybe you will have a little more time for yourself.
Perhaps you can organize things a little better when you have more peace and quiet in the house.
Life won't stay like this forever, things change, people change.
Originally posted by yo its meNot to sound overly harsh, but you didn't get married to your children; you married your husband. Either you are able to reconcile his actions by virtue of your character and impersonal love, or you aren't. That was at least one of my points when I resigned myself to ensure the presence of the family dog.
To FreakyKBH and ayceebee
I really appreasiate your posts, that's kind of how things were for a long time but that's what makes me so angry, while things weren't improving, I waited, hoped and gently tried to nudge things in the right direction but he decided to take another road after all that I'd put up with. I hope that dosen't happen to you, it's a ho ...[text shortened]... d not bother with life. Becasue what is life if we don't have someone to share it with?
We want the other to be just like us, but the reality is, we seek the other because they are not us at all: they're close enough to warrant familiarity, but different enough to elicit desire. If desire is enough to get one through life, I'm a man without any. I see desire as an adequate spark, a necessary accelerant, but not much more.
After we've grown up and moved beyond the bells and whistles, is the music over? I say only to the ear of the deafened. She is not my song; I am her song to her. If she opts to stop keeping time, I revert back to the chorus. If you have tired of the refrain, you really can't blame the listener: he hasn't changed much since the day he was born... certainly very little since you met.