Innuendo thread

An occasional thread for lovers of Carry On films, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and the great British tradition that is the well crafted innuendo.

Each post must contain an innuendo. Points gained for craft and ingenuity. Points lost for failing to meet the standard that the words must be capable of an innocent interpretation.

This is a hard one.

Originally posted by Rank outsider
An occasional thread for lovers of Carry On films, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, and the great British tradition that is the well crafted innuendo.

Each post must contain an innuendo. Points gained for craft and ingenuity. Points lost for failing to meet the standard that the words must be capable of an innocent interpretation.

This is a hard one.

Originally posted by thaughbaer
I wish you hadn't started this thread on a Sunday. I'm about to start cooking a roast dinner and need to go and choke a chicken. More tea Vicar ?

I would take advantage of the good whether too. We've just been down to the beach. I had to help my nephew jack off a donkey. I wish I'd used some cream because know I've a throbbing head. More tea Vicar ?

Hello folks! I’ve just been to a Spanish chess thread. They discussed every position all night, but there was a gaping hole begging to be filled with Schliemann…

Originally posted by Rank outsider


This is a hard one.

Originally posted by Rank outsider
innuendo

Not wanting to drift off topic but a queen has just been bashing my bishop. More tea Vicar ?

Who do girls like best, Submariners or Seamen?

Oooh matron!

You will all have to a long way to beat stellspalfie at this game:

http://www.redhotpawn.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=131138&page=3

"phew im knackered, just been for a ride with my wife up the dirt track, im filthy and my missus has broken her mudflaps."

And of course:

http://www.redhotpawn.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=144558&page=1

"blimey, good memory, thanks. we never ride anymore. i let the teenager over the road bang it around as he will ride anything. he's a big lad and has done way more damage than me. especially as him and his mates take turns thrashing it up the half-pipe. they all come off, then drag it back to me. expecting me to clean all the crap thats sprayed up the read end. the cheek!!"

A true Master.

Originally posted by Woodgie
You will all have to a long way to beat stellspalfie at this game:

http://www.redhotpawn.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=131138&page=3

"phew im knackered, just been for a ride with my wife up the dirt track, im filthy and my missus has broken her mudflaps."

And of course:

http://www.redhotpawn.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=144558&page=1

...[text shortened]... ting me to clean all the crap thats sprayed up the read end. the cheek!!"

A true Master.

Originally posted by kevcvs57
To be fair we were asked to keep it as close a possible to a 'carry on' script as we could, nobody mentioned 'readers wives'.😲

Your right though, He's in a different league.

i am so not interested in anything about this thread
i have far too much dignity
pass the bottle please

Originally posted by kevcvs57
To be fair we were asked to keep it as close a possible to a 'carry on' script as we could, nobody mentioned 'readers wives'.😲

Your right though, He's in a different league.

Originally posted by coquette
i am so not interested in anything about this thread
i have far too much dignity
pass the bottle please