Interesting telephone stories

True autobiographical stories, please, in which a telephone is a key plot element. Thanks.

This last week I made several telephone calls to utility suppliers. To the causal observer these conversational experiences would all be classified under one heading “dull”. However effective segmentation of these calls reveals a different perspective. For example if one created a simple Boston matrix with “level of dullness” on one axis and “length of call” on the other axis, it is quite interesting to note the correlation between a longer “length of call” and increased “level of dullness”. Through numerically quantifying each call in this way it is possible to see a bi-nominal distribution, a statistical phenomena which becomes increasingly apparent when includes other factors such as “effectiveness of call” “call was actually answered by incomprehensible and overly polite person stationed in Mumbai” “caller hung up in exasperation” “dreadful hold music” and “annoying prick in the call centre who would only stick to the given script”. Work continues on this important research and readers should expect a peer reviewed journal with extensive insights by the end of 2022.

@divegeester said
This last week I made several telephone calls to utility suppliers. To the causal observer these conversational experiences would all be classified under one heading “dull”. However effective segmentation of these calls reveals a different perspective. For example if one created a simple Boston matrix with “level of dullness” on one axis and “length of call” on the other ...[text shortened]... search and readers should expect a peer reviewed journal with extensive insights by the end of 2022.

@suzianne said
zzzzZZZZ

@divegeester said
You’re more like Very Rusty than you might realise.

@badradger said
zzzzZZZZ

@suzianne said
zzzzZZZZ

YouTube

About 4 years ago had lunch in Bogota, left my phone sitting on the table, didn't realise until I had already taken a taxi to the dentist, got back about 20 minutes after leaving it behind, it wasn't sitting where i left it so asked the guy at the till. He ask me what color the phone was, which brand it was, annoyingly answered his questions just wanting to know if he had seen the damn phone, then he lifts it from under the table - relief.

Back in the mists of time when mobiles were the size of breezeblocks I was working in a school in nunthorpe my wife was in hospital giving birth to our first sproglett I needed to use a public phone to see how she was getting on dialation etc anyway I found a red phone box at nunthorp shops I phoned and was told I had a daughter I lookt down in dissapointment & there on the floor was a wallet full of dosh, I left the phone booth and walked to the bus stop to head for the hospital, then I saw a guy franticly searching in and around the booth, as I alighted the bus I wondered what on earth was he looking for..... nah I went and gave him his wallet I am not a complete twat.

@badradger said
Back in the mists of time when mobiles were the size of breezeblocks I was working in a school in nunthorpe my wife was in hospital giving birth to our first sproglett I needed to use a public phone to see how she was getting on dialation etc anyway I found a red phone box at nunthorp shops I phoned and was told I had a daughter I lookt down in dissapointment & there on th ...[text shortened]... d what on earth was he looking for..... nah I went and gave him his wallet I am not a complete twat.

i dialed the number for the factory where i was employed

"i have all my paperwork in order
all the nonsense of the last year and a half are genuinely over, and the state police are not going to press charges
my shrink and her colleagues are in agreement that i am not a threat any longer
i am ready and willing to return to work"

"we'll call back"

*two hours later
*phone rings

"human resources here, calling to complete the process of yer termination
you are no longer allowed on the premises and the county sheriff has instructions to arrest you if you come within 100 meters of the property"

"i would like the opportunity to retrieve my tools"

"they've been sold at auction
good luck in yer future endeavours"

@fmf said
Do you have a personal anecdote in which a telephone features prominently?

@trev33 said
About 4 years ago had lunch in Bogota, left my phone sitting on the table, didn't realise until I had already taken a taxi to the dentist, got back about 20 minutes after leaving it behind, it wasn't sitting where i left it so asked the guy at the till. He ask me what color the phone was, which brand it was, annoyingly answered his questions just wanting to know if he had seen the damn phone, then he lifts it from under the table - relief.