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It's inhumane, I tell you.

It's inhumane, I tell you.

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Originally posted by Moldy Crow
How about we test cosmetics on crocs ? Then the poor wildebeasts are safe , plus all of the bunnies and rats in the labs . No one seems too sympathetic to the crocs , so nobody will give 2 sh1ts about screwing them up in labs .


HoH - I want to hear more about the hamsters shot out of the spud gun . How fast do they come out ? Could you kill a deer with one ?
What do you suppose would be the terminal velocity of a hamster? 🙄

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Originally posted by Nordlys
Hm, shavixmir's toe thread just came to my mind...
That has happened to me too. Sends shivers down my spine every time.

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Originally posted by Moldy Crow
HoH - I want to hear more about the hamsters shot out of the spud gun . How fast do they come out ? Could you kill a deer with one ?
I don't have any empirical evidence to support that a deer can be killed by firing a hamster at it out of a spud gun. A standard PVC pipe spud gun can probably only put a hamster out at 250ft/sec and if this was a pointed object like an arrow you'd probably kill a deer. However, hamsters are dull and would probably only bruise the beast.

Still I'm confident that if we froze the hamsters in special projectile molds and constructed a heavy walled hamster cannon with a rifled barrel we'd get some interesting results. I'm drawing up plans now and plan to use propane gas instead of hairspray as a propellent, I can rob the electric ignition off my bar-b-q as well. I would suspect that we can launch hamster/ice projectiles at upwards of 700ft/sec. A head shot with the hamster cannon is more than likely to kill a deer. I'm sketching a semi-auto, rotating barrel, tube fed model complete with beefed up remote control car internals to provide a remote targeting mechanism. With the proper propellant I am confident that we can cut a deer in two with a couple of hamster rounds travelling at well over 1500 ft/sec.

Lab trials will be necessary to refine the mechanism and document wound chanels with varying projectiles. As I am assured that abortion will soon be outlawed, I plan on using surplus unwanted babies as targets.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I don't have any empirical evidence to support that a deer can be killed by firing a hamster at it out of a spud gun. A standard PVC pipe spud gun can probably only put a hamster out at 250ft/sec and if this was a pointed object like an arrow you'd probably kill a deer. However, hamsters are dull and would probably only bruise the beast.

Still ...[text shortened]... assured that abortion will soon be outlawed, I plan on using surplus unwanted babies as targets.
I am sure no one can object to the use of hamsters as projectiles. Much better than putting cosmetics into their eyes.

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I don't have any empirical evidence to support that a deer can be killed by firing a hamster at it out of a spud gun. A standard PVC pipe spud gun can probably only put a hamster out at 250ft/sec and if this was a pointed object like an arrow you'd probably kill a deer. However, hamsters are dull and would probably only bruise the beast.

Still ...[text shortened]... assured that abortion will soon be outlawed, I plan on using surplus unwanted babies as targets.
Frozen hamster!!! Brilliant!! 😵 I wish I'd thought of that. I'm sure you could do some serious damage with a high-speed hamster-sickle

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a rope bridge with sliding harnesses would be much cheaper ...

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Originally posted by zeeblebot
a rope bridge with sliding harnesses would be much cheaper ...
Or one of these (#14 on this page - Take a Shortcut)

http://www.practicalpresents.org/acatalog/_501_plus.html

Wrong continent though...

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I don't have any empirical evidence to support that a deer can be killed by firing a hamster at it out of a spud gun. A standard PVC pipe spud gun can probably only put a hamster out at 250ft/sec and if this was a pointed object like an arrow you'd probably kill a deer. However, hamsters are dull and would probably only bruise the beast.

Still ...[text shortened]... assured that abortion will soon be outlawed, I plan on using surplus unwanted babies as targets.
I think the gun idea is brilliant , and you should apply for a grant for federal funding .

I think you're on the wrong track with the unwanted babies though . I think they'd make fine projectiles for a larger bore weapon , especially when frozen .

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Originally posted by Fersboo
Me and the Wife saw an IMAX film about the African Savannah, which followed in part the migration of a herd of wildebeasts. The wildebeasts had to cross a crocodile infested river in both directions of the annual migration. The crocs slaughtered them. Totally inhumane. Someone should build a bridge for those poor wildebeasts; think of the mental anguish ...[text shortened]... the wildebeasts suffer.
:'(:'(:'(


See the Proctor & Gamble is evil thread for context.
Have you ever smelled a wildebeast? Eat the fcukers! That's what I say.

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Originally posted by Moldy Crow
I think the gun idea is brilliant , and you should apply for a grant for federal funding .

I think you're on the wrong track with the unwanted babies though . I think they'd make fine projectiles for a larger bore weapon , especially when frozen .
You'd need a howitzer sized weapon and I expect this to exceed my budget, even if they are giving away the babies for free. Perhaps dismembered babies would do the trick? I, for one, would not want to be hit with a frozen baby arm traveling at 1500ft/sec. I suppose you could make some sort of baby mortar rather than a conventional cannon. This would allow you to launch frozen babies a considerable distance, but, you probably won't have much luck killing deer unless they'll group together and stand still for you. A trebuchet might be more efffective and you could coat the babies in tar, light them on fire and have very effective screaming and flaming projectiles.... the horror...

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Originally posted by rhb
How about we test cosmetics on convicted criminals?

😛
I can just imagine The Yorkshire Ripper walking around with Max Factor's latest Autumn coulours. Phwoarr, just think of those ruby red lips. 😀

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Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
You'd need a howitzer sized weapon and I expect this to exceed my budget, even if they are giving away the babies for free. Perhaps dismembered babies would do the trick? I, for one, would not want to be hit with a frozen baby arm traveling at 1500ft/sec. I suppose you could make some sort of baby mortar rather than a conventional cannon. This wo ...[text shortened]... , light them on fire and have very effective screaming and flaming projectiles.... the horror...
That's why it needs federal funding . This could be a wonderful weapon of war . Imagine the poetry of killing women and children with frozen baby projectiles instead of daisy-cutters and conventional explosive devices . But I think it could also be a tool for peace . Frozen baby canons could be used to trigger avalanches , mud slides , and scare migrating wildebeast away from crocodile infested rivers .
This could be the greatest gift to mankind since dynomite , the internet , or Pamella Anderson's t!tt!es .

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Originally posted by Moldy Crow
That's why it needs federal funding . This could be a wonderful weapon of war . Imagine the poetry of killing women and children with frozen baby projectiles instead of daisy-cutters and conventional explosive devices . But I think it could also be a tool for peace . Frozen baby canons could be used to trigger avalanches , mud slides , and scare migratin ...[text shortened]... be the greatest gift to mankind since dynomite , the internet , or Pamella Anderson's t!tt!es .
Perhaps you're right. For the sake of humanity I'll build the cannon. Judging by the teen pregnancy rate, I'm not likely to run out of ammo.

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But what about the children!????:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(

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Originally posted by Fersboo
But what about the children!????:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(:'(
Well, my main concern is that they will breakup at high velocity when fired from the howitzer. This is primary reason I like the flaming baby trebuchet approach... lower velocity and higher shock factor.

I'm thinking parachuting explosive rigged babies and toddlers behind enemy lines will be very effective. A handful of babies with a couple of pipe bomb's and diapers packed with ball bearings would make for considerable carnage. Seriously do you really want to mess with someone that drops exploding babies on you? There will be peace in our time... I should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.