Originally posted by angie88Alright, alright. I guess Ravello, despite being a bigger jerk than no1, is less disgusting. They're a classic Christmas song that contains the famous lyrics "Chessnuts roasting over an open fire." And "Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer" sounds a lot like that, thus completing the bad pun.
Did you look at his picture??? I so dig his eyes! I'd rather go to sleep ignorant than change it 😛 (except maybe if ravello asked me to change it...)
In the same theme of bad puns we've all heard.
A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer................................................... and a bag of peanuts." The bartender responds, "Why the big pause?"
And one of my own creation....
A walrus flops into a bar, takes a seat at the bar, and orders a fish. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve large, sea mammals here." "I just want a fish. I'm very hungry" "I'm sorry, but I can't serve you." "Well that's just stupid," says the walrus, turning to leave. Just then, he spots a manatee seated a few spots down the bar. He returns to the bartender and asks, "Why can he eat here, but I can't? He's a large sea mammal too." "Well, he's the very reason," responds the bartender. "He's been here for a week, and we just can't get him to leave." "If I get him to leave, will you give me my fish?" asked the walrus. "Ok."
So the walrus flops over the manatee, whispers something in his ear, and the manatee promptly leaves. "Wow"! The bartender said to the walrus, handing over the fish, "What did you say to him?" "I told him I'd give him a fish if he left." "That was quite generous of you, to sacrifice your fish, just to help us out. Thank you." " I don't think you understand," said the walrus, "manatee aren't too bright. I told him I'd give him a fish if he never came back."
Alright, alright, it wasn't great. But I'd like to hear one of you think of a better walrus joke on the spot.
Originally posted by ark13This penguin, having trouble with his car, takes it to a mechanic to have it worked on. Mechanic tells him it'll be about an hour or so. The penguin decides to go across the street to get an ice cream at the drug store.
Alright, alright. I guess Ravello, despite being a bigger jerk than no1, is less disgusting. They're a classic Christmas song that contains the famous lyrics "Chessnuts roasting over an open fire." And "Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer" sounds a lot like that, thus completing the bad pun.
In the same theme of bad puns we've all heard.
A bear ...[text shortened]... , it wasn't great. But I'd like to hear one of you think of a better walrus joke on the spot.
After he's eat several cones and gets ice cream all over his beak, he goes back across the road were the mechanic is just finishing up. He tells the penguin, "Well, looks like you've blown a seal." "No" say's the penguin, thats just a little ice cream."
Originally posted by LittleBearIts not only just foreigners that always speak english, aliens
Things You Learn At The Movies
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
All beds have special L-shaped co ...[text shortened]... ming can be interrupted at any time in order to provide important plot information.
😀😀
also have the same talent, which makes it easy for the hero/heroine
to understand what the alien is after.
Originally posted by ark13Q: How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?
Alright, alright, it wasn't great. But I'd like to hear one of you think of a better walrus joke on the spot.
A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.
Q: What's the difference between a walrus and a banana?
A: You'd better find out, because if you ever try to peel a walrus...
Originally posted by angie88Sheesh🙄
are you looking at the one on rhp faces or are you trying to see it in his profile/avatar?
and ark... I don't get the one with the peanuts either 😞
The bear walks into the bar, asks for a drink, then stops for a while, and orders peanuts. The bar tender asks "why the big pause/paws?" since bears have big paws, it's a bad pun.
A guy drives up to his local pub in a brand new red hot corvette. His buddy is out front and sees him pull up. Running over to the car he yells "Holy crap George! Where did ya get the new ride?"
" Funny story." Says George. "I was on my way over to the pub and this really hot blonde drives up in this car and tells me to hop in."
"Really! No way! So what did you do?"
"Well I hopped in and she drove way out of town to an isolated area."
"No! Really! Then what happened?" Asks the friend in an excited manner.
" Well, " Says George "It was the damnest thing ever. She shut off the car, jumped in the back, took off her panties and told me to take whatever I want."
" NO WAY! So what did you do then?!
"Well I took the car."
After a short pause his buddy replies " Good thing, her panties might not have fit you anyways." 😕
This guy is sitting in a bar - really drunk, and he asks the
bartender, "Where's the bathroom?"
The bartender says, "Go down the hall and make a right."
A few minutes later everybody at the bar hears this loud scream from out of the bathroom and wonders what the heck is going on in there.
A few minutes go by and, again, everybody at the bar hears another loud scream coming from the bathroom. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
He knocks on the door and asks the drunk, "What's all the screaming
about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
The drunk says, "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "Well, no wonder, you're sitting on the mop bucket!!!"