Mangled Motives

@ghost-of-a-duke said
...the Ghost expects me to.

Cats don't wear trousers because...

you can never find a pair small enough.

Cats sizes are overlooked by most leading retailers because...

@petewxyz said
you can never find a pair small enough.

Cats sizes are overlooked by most leading retailers because...

...It's a dog eat dog world.

If a group of monkeys were locked in a room with a typewriter they would write...

@neilarini said
...It's a dog eat dog world.

If a group of monkeys were locked in a room with a typewriter they would write...

'Help, we are locked in this room' and push it under the door.

The RSPCA are investigating the author of Macbeth because...

@petewxyz said
'Help, we are locked in this room' and push it under the door.

The RSPCA are investigating the author of Macbeth because...

... they thought Lady Macbeth was yelling at her dog.

Ghosts never refuse a free drink because...

@js357 said
... they thought Lady Macbeth was yelling at her dog.

Ghosts never refuse a free drink because...

Ghosts don't have any money.

I drink, therefor...

@earl-of-trumps said
Ghosts don't have any money.

I drink, therefor...

...I am often asked to refrain from dancing on the bar.

I never nap because...

@hakima said
...I am often asked to refrain from dancing on the bar.

I never nap because...

... I might not wake up.


Doctor Fauci is a Russian mole because ...

@hakima said
...I am often asked to refrain from dancing on the bar.

I never nap because...

life's too short.

I organise my collection of historic crisp wrappers alphabetically because...

@petewxyz said
life's too short.

I organise my collection of historic crisp wrappers alphabetically because...

...I get terribly confused with my cheese and onions when I try to colour coordinate.

Don't tell anyone but I've been secretly hoarding...

@neilarini said
...I get terribly confused with my cheese and onions when I try to colour coordinate.

Don't tell anyone but I've been secretly hoarding...

... epithelial dander and dust mites.

I look up at the stars and think...

@wolfe63 said
... epithelial dander and dust mites.

I look up at the stars and think...

it's really time I got the hole in my roof fixed.

The stars look down on be because...

@petewxyz said
it's really time I got the hole in my roof fixed.

The stars look down on be because...

... because I polish their shoes for a living.

I give to charity thinking...

@wolfe63 said
... because I polish their shoes for a living.

I give to charity thinking...

… it will make a difference.

I like face-book because...

@torunn said
… it will make a difference.

I like face-book because...

I haven't discovered the joys of RHP.

I sometimes give away a Bishop for absolutely no good reason whatsoever in the most gobsmackingly irrational decision making process and without paying due care and attention because...

@petewxyz said
I haven't discovered the joys of RHP.

I sometimes give away a Bishop for absolutely no good reason whatsoever in the most gobsmackingly irrational decision making process and without paying due care and attention because...

alcohol is just that powerful.

i eat tomato soup with chopsticks because...