Again I am using this as a bit of a sounding board and some personal therapy. So please bear with me here.
tonight was my first tough night with my daughters. It seems that my oldest said something that really upset my youngest to where she just clammed up and wouldn't talk. I tried everything to get her to open up. but refuses. She really hurt.
This is hard. to look into the eyes of a 14 yo girl (soon to be 15) and see the pain that is deep inside her. I shouldn't ever see that kind of hurt. I am fairly certain that my oldest girl didn't say anything bad nor wrong, but my youngest heard something and it triggered this shut down. God I wish I could take the pain away.
You know I am really feeling guilty right now. To think, if I hadn't turned this blind eye, maybe saw some sign of what was really going on, I know I could have stopped all of this. Yes I know I can't stop what I don't know, but somehow, I should have. I haven't slept well in 4 nights now, just wishing and thinking back as to how I could have made a difference.
I will be setting up new schools tomorrow. It isn't going to be fun at all, but I will try to encourage this as a new beginning. one that is sorely needed. All three girls had very high dreams and hopes for their future. I just want to see them get that chance.
Again this is just me sounding off here. I have done this from time to time. Don't look for replies. Just needing to get this off my chest and mind.
Originally posted by KJCavalierLesson from my ping-pong coach....you can't do anything about the bad shot that you made a minute ago. It's in the past and you can't go back and fix it. And continuing to dwell on it is only going to mess up your next shot. And you really can't do a whole lot about your future shots either because you don't know what your opponent is going to do or how they'll react to what you do. The only thing that you really have any control over is how you react to the ball that is coming at you right now.
Again I am using this as a bit of a sounding board and some personal therapy. So please bear with me here.
tonight was my first tough night with my daughters. It seems that my oldest said something that really upset my youngest to where she just clammed up and wouldn't talk. I tried everything to get her to open up. but refuses. She really hurt.
T ...[text shortened]... m time to time. Don't look for replies. Just needing to get this off my chest and mind.
Make your best shot on the ball that's coming at you right now. Focus on the immediate. The past is in the past and the future is beyond your reach.
This applies to more than just ping-pong. You can kick yourself all you want, but it's only going to be counter-productive. Do the best you can today. Do it again tomorrow. That is the best that you can do. That's the best that any of us can do.
And so now we have a new school for girls, new home for girls, and new life. I have a very good insurance program here at my job, and it offers free counseling for any reason. I will be taking part in this. I have also contacted the state for abuse counseling as well.
I think it is going to get better now. It certainly can't get any worse.
Originally posted by KJCavalierWhat's in the past is in the past, you can only learn from it and move on. You've stepped up to the plate now, so take heart in that.
And so now we have a new school for girls, new home for girls, and new life. I have a very good insurance program here at my job, and it offers free counseling for any reason. I will be taking part in this. I have also contacted the state for abuse counseling as well.
I think it is going to get better now. It certainly can't get any worse.
Originally posted by huckleberryhoundI know Huckster, I really do. I just a place to put down my thoughts. This seemed to be it for me.
What's in the past is in the past, you can only learn from it and move on. You've stepped up to the plate now, so take heart in that.
Maybe adding my thoughts here also help others like the old sloth here.
Originally posted by KJCavalierI wish you all the luck in the world mate. I only wish i could team up wi th you and a couple of wiffle ball bats, send a coulpe of other people for knee surgeory, if you know what i mean.
I know Huckster, I really do. I just a place to put down my thoughts. This seemed to be it for me.
Maybe adding my thoughts here also help others like the old sloth here.
Just getting my thoughts out again.
we are a little more than 24 hours away from our court date. I am very nervous. My ex and her husband have made this easier by actually admitting to everything they have done. I'm not sure as to why they have, but they did.
What is scaring me though, is the fact that there are those horror stories out there that, not matter the evidence, the bad parents still get their kids. I don't want to see that happen here.
Oddly I'm wasn't ever looking to take my kids away from their mother, but of course, I didn't know about what was really going on back then either. So my moves here certainly weren't brash, or vengeful but rather to protect my children. I guess that really goes without saying.
Now if my ex wins the case and gets her children back, I am going to be very certain I won't ever see them again. I don't think I will ever be able to handle that. I love my girls to much to ever want that to happen.
The pictures speak for themselves. and the speak very loudly. The bruise on my oldest eye lasted over 2 weeks. That is one serious blow for a shiner to last that long.
There will be one quick vindication though, My daughters will be in the courtroom with me. I will have them dressed nicely, with new haircuts, styled nicely, and with make-up. Not overdone, but rather tasteful and well done. My wife and their Godmother are both going to make sure of this. I am having this done just to spite the both of them. Let them know they aren't in charge anymore. I am. I know its wrong to stoop this way, but a subtle message to the both of them like this is needed and needed badly. THEY WON'T BELITTLE MY GIRLS ANYMORE!!!!!
Originally posted by KJCavalierIt sounds like you have a very good case, especially since they have admitted to everything. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and your daughters.
Just getting my thoughts out again.
we are a little more than 24 hours away from our court date. I am very nervous. My ex and her husband have made this easier by actually admitting to everything they have done. I'm not sure as to why they have, but they did.
What is scaring me though, is the fact that there are those horror stories out there that, f them like this is needed and needed badly. THEY WON'T BELITTLE MY GIRLS ANYMORE!!!!!
Originally posted by KJCavalierI know you want your girls to look good and different in the courtroom, but if I were the judge, I would weigh heavily upon the fact that you got yourself and your kids in therapy. You didn't have to do that, but you did. That speaks volumes about your abilities as a father to do the right and responsible thing with them. You can buy make-up and nice clothes anywhere. Making responsible decisions you cannot buy.
Just getting my thoughts out again.
we are a little more than 24 hours away from our court date. I am very nervous. My ex and her husband have made this easier by actually admitting to everything they have done. I'm not sure as to why they have, but they did.
What is scaring me though, is the fact that there are those horror stories out there that, ...[text shortened]... f them like this is needed and needed badly. THEY WON'T BELITTLE MY GIRLS ANYMORE!!!!!
Originally posted by KJCavalierMy heart goes out to you and your daughters for what you have been through. I'll be praying for a good outcome in the court room. Getting them fixed up really pretty was good therapy for you AND for them. Don't discount it. The judge will notice and so will your Ex. I think that their admission to what they did was at their lawyer's advice. After all, the girls are there to testify against them and they would only look bad to deny it. Does your ex REALLY want them? It seems to me she would rather be free of them!
Just getting my thoughts out again.
we are a little more than 24 hours away from our court date. I am very nervous. My ex and her husband have made this easier by actually admitting to everything they have done. I'm not sure as to why they have, but they did.
What is scaring me though, is the fact that there are those horror stories out there that, ...[text shortened]... f them like this is needed and needed badly. THEY WON'T BELITTLE MY GIRLS ANYMORE!!!!!
So the case was heard and, I won! I have custody of my daughters! It was almost comical to watch.
The official ruling is The injunction placed against their step-dad has been dismissed. The evidence used was misstated and old. This was when I said that my daughter had received 2 black eyes and blamed my oldest for it. This is fine, since I just didn't want a loophole to get him to take my girls to her. He's still abusive and mean. Not to mention a true idiot.
As for my ex/their mother, Because there is a criminal case against her and she can't be tried in a civil hearing without the criminal case being heard first. The judge had to go off the evidence presented and found that she is to have lost. In other words, I get the girls!!!!
Oh the look on their faces when they saw the girls really dressed up nice, make-up and all. The fact that they were very proper, and not outspoken nor rude, and no matter what was said, the girls kept their peace and quiet. It was beautiful. Every time their step-dad tried to speak, he was shut down by the judge. He actually was trying to force his will as he was about to win his injunction. The girls items will be picked up on Saturday in front of a deputy sheriff. He has no say in the matter. In fact he was told several times he was to shut up and listen. It was a thing of beauty. Even in front of my daughters. To see he is nothing but a bully, and couldn't win. Priceless.
I am a happy man today. Even with this whole scenario, I am happy.
I wanted to try and show their mother that at no time before this had I wanted to take her children away, but her actions forced this to happen. I told her that I wanted her to get counseling, to make an effort to get herself mentally better and stable. Get through her "issues". But she just kept try to change subject and make everyone else look worse. Didn't work. The she tried to tell me the my children aren't mine. Didn't work either. Way to many years have gone for her to try that one. I really feel sorry for her. She hasn't got a clue.
If you believe, pray for her. She needs it badly.
Originally posted by KJCavalierGreat news, KJ! 🙂
So the case was heard and, I won! I have custody of my daughters! It was almost comical to watch.
The official ruling is The injunction placed against their step-dad has been dismissed. The evidence used was misstated and old. This was when I said that my daughter had received 2 black eyes and blamed my oldest for it. This is fine, since I just didn't ...[text shortened]... y for her. She hasn't got a clue.
If you believe, pray for her. She needs it badly.