Warning: this thread is immensely sad in nature and often requires a vague knowledge of further mathematics.
i spent most of yesterday telling maths jokes (mostly horendously bad, like why the cow in the field travelling at 43m/s 3x+4y+0z cannot escape? cause it's a vector field! *cue groans*), but a few were actually kinda clever and good. so, please share your own...
why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to get to the same side!
what do you call proofs that jump off cliffs? lemmas!
what do you get if you have 2 contradicting proofs? a dilemma!
what do you call proofs that fall down bottomless pits? proof by infinite descent!
what is green and commutes? an abelian grape!
what do you call an abelian group with a secondary assosiative and distributive opertator and the power to control mortal minds? the one ring...
and the crowning glory:
what does [1/(cabin)].d(cabin) equal? well, you'd think it would be a log cabin, but it's not. it's a holiday home as it's a log cabin + c...
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual (later discovered to be a public school teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x"and"y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared. When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said: "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." President Bush warned: "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex." Attorney General Ashcroft said: "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."