Morning breath. Disgusting or what?

What’s with this bad breath in the morning malarkey?

So you don’t eat garlic the night before. You don’t eat onions, beans or lentils.
You don’t drink alcohol, coffee, tea or cola. You don’t smoke. In fact: you have 2 ham sandwiches at 6pm and then drink water for the rest of the evening, until you toothpick, floss and brush your teeth for the advised two minutes just before you go to bed at midnight.

Why, when you wake up, does it still taste like a rat’s died in your mouth?

This really bothers me. I lie awake at nights dreading waking up, because I don’t know if my lungs are rotting, my teeth are decaying or some giant spider’s got wedged between my tonsils and is fermenting as I snore.
I don’t need sleep bloody therapy! I want answers! That’s what I want.

And something else that bothers me is Hollywood films. How many romantic Hollywood films have you seen, and that the two new lovers wake up in the morning (after a good night’s worth of sex) and start snogging? How realistic is that?
These two people are suffering from death-breath; diseased pigeons smell nicer and decomposing road-kill tastes better. THEY’RE FOOLIN’ NO ONE!!

And let’s be perfectly honest here…most times, not all, but MOST TIMES, you wake up next to a new lover, you’ve been out to a meal (that’s garlic), you’ve had a few drinks (that’s alcohol), you’ve finished the meal with an espresso (that’s coffee), one of the two’s had a smoke (law of statistics) and both of you have had your tongues in places where odours linger longer than usual (that’s good sex, by the way)…When you wake up your breath will be one of the seven layers of hell and even bloody Cerberus wouldn’t dare stick his tongue down your throat!

So why does Hollywood show them kissing? I reckon they think that we’re thinking: “Ohhhh…that’s sweet.”
No we’re not. We’re not thinking that at all. We’re (or I am anyways&hellip😉 thinking: “That is god-awfully disgusting! I’m glad I’m not him.”
No matter how jealous I am of any actor dating and shagging Drool Barrymore, as soon as I see them waking up and kissing, I’m glad I’m at home with my toothbrush, Paradontax and menthol shower gel.

I don’t want to sound neurotic here. I’m not.
And yes, when I do wake up next to a new lover, if she wants to kiss, I’ll kiss. But I am thinking: “Holy sweet Jesus…how am I gonna get outta this one!”
And that’s why men try to leave as fast as possible! It’s not that we don’t want breakfast, we just don’t want you trying to kiss us before peppermint time.
It might seem romantic, but kissing someone who tastes like a polluted puddle outside a nuclear reactor…well…it just isn’t!
And I’m sure most women are thinking the exact same: “My God…why didn’t he bugger off before I woke up? Now he’s gonna expect me to French him. EWWWWWWW.”

A second date is usually better. Then you just wake up and say: “Here’s some chewing gum love, you smell like a dog’s arse.”

But I digress. It’s obvious that if you’re out on a date you’re going to wake up putrid and smelly. What I want to know is why, when you behave, you still wake up reeking out your mouth like a corpse in a swamp?

The post that was quoted here has been removed

Originally posted by shavixmir
Well, I don't know about you, but when BWA'ers cuddle it generally leads to snogging, shagging and alimony.

Not in the morning though... I am not usually in the mood to do anything more then go back to sleep when I first wake up. In fact, I have sevral attempts where I fall asleep again before I finally get up properly.

I find women always seem to get up earlier then me too, so I miss out on my chance by the time I have woken up properly - I get the messy business over and done with the night before to be on the safe side.

Originally posted by Tyrannosauruschex
Not in the morning though... I am not usually in the mood to do anything more then go back to sleep when I first wake up. In fact, I have sevral attempts where I fall asleep again before I finally get up properly.

I find women always seem to get up earlier then me too, so I miss out on my chance by the time I have woken up properly - I get the messy business over and done with the night before to be on the safe side.

Originally posted by shavixmir
Yes. I'm sure having sex in the evening is safer than having it in the morning...

Originally posted by shavixmir
Yes. I'm sure having sex in the evening is safer than having it in the morning...

Originally posted by shavixmir
[b]What’s with this bad breath in the morning malarkey?

And something else that bothers me is Hollywood films. How many romantic Hollywood films have you seen, and that the two new lovers wake up in the morning (after a good night’s worth of sex) and start snogging? How realistic is that?

Originally posted by Sunburnt
This has always bothered me too. I would imagine that after waking up, you would mutually agree to keep the kissing out of the scenario if you had morning sex? It's just the polite thing to do, no?

Originally posted by Sunburnt
This has always bothered me too. I would imagine that after waking up, you would mutually agree to keep the kissing out of the scenario if you had morning sex? It's just the polite thing to do, no?

I think it was Charlie Sheen who once said, "I don't pay prostitutes to have sex with me. I pay them to leave when we're done."

Originally posted by rbmorris
I think it was Charlie Sheen who once said, "I don't pay prostitutes to have sex with me. I pay them to leave when we're done."

Originally posted by Tyrannosauruschex
I am not usually in the mood to do anything more then go back to sleep when I first wake up.

I find women always seem to get up earlier then me too, so I miss out on my chance by the time I have woken up properly - I get the messy business over and done with the night before to be on the safe side.