New blonde jokes thread

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are sipping tea and discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette says, "My baby's going to be a boy." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The brunette says, "Because when we did it, my husband was on top."

The red head then says, "My baby's going to be a girl." The blonde asks, "How do you know?" The red head says, "Because when we did it, I was on top."

The blonde starts crying hysterically. When her friends finally calm her down, they ask her why she was crying. The blonde says, "My baby's going to be a puppy."

A blonde walks into this establishment & in a loud voice asks for a hamburger, french fries & a coke. The woman sitting at the desk gives her a frosty look & says" Maam, this is a library"
The blonde in a very hushed voice says " Sorry, I'd lke a hamburger, french fries and a coke"

What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

The washing machine won't follow you home after you dump a load in it.

Two blondes are residing a house.

One notices that the other is discarding about every other nail, and asks her why.

"Half of these nails are defective. They have the point on the wrong end."

The first blonde replies "You idiot! Those are for the other side of the house!"

So there's a blonde and a brunette riding in an elevator...when it stops on the 6th floor a man gets on. Well, they notice that he has some dandruff on his shoulders but they politely decline to say anything until the man leaves two floors later. The brunette then turns to the blonde and says, "someone needs to give that poor guy some Head 'n Shoulders." To which the blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"

Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? Yeah, she missed the earth.

Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant? Yeah, she blew it both times.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

Q: why are blonde jokes so short?

A: so men can remember them.

Three, stupid, pretty Blondes were sitting around, pondering.

'Sigh!' said the first.

'Oh, Sigh!!' says the second.

'Sigh!!!!!' says the third.

Suddenly, a fairy appears. 'OK, I can trell you are all unhappy about something. I'll grant you all one wish'.

'What do you wish?' says the fairy to the first Blonde.

'I am not pretty enough. I want to be prettier'. The fairly waves her magic wand and suddenly the Blonde is even prettier.

'I am not blonde enough' says the second. The fairy waves her magic wand and suddenly she is even blonder.

'I am not stupid enough. I want to be stupider'. The fairy waves her magic wand and suddenly the blonde is dressed in a fully veiled Islamic Hijab.

Originally posted by znsho
Three, stupid, pretty Blondes were sitting around, pondering.

'Sigh!' said the first.

'Oh, Sigh!!' says the second.

'Sigh!!!!!' says the third.

Suddenly, a fairy appears. 'OK, I can trell you are all unhappy about something. I'll grant you all one wish'.

'What do you wish?' says the fairy to the first Blonde.

'I am not pretty enough. I want t ...[text shortened]... magic wand and suddenly the blonde is dressed in a fully veiled Islamic Hijab.

Originally posted by Palynka
😕

Originally posted by znsho
Are Whitebait baby sardines?

Originally posted by Palynka
Heavens! Of course NOT!

Originally posted by znsho
Then, what are Whitebait? Baby herrings? I have never fully understood!