FBI TOP 12 DEATHS OF THE YEAR Every year the
FBI is asked to investigate over 36,000 Serious Crimes including Suspicious
Deaths and Homicides. Every year the Homicide Investigations Unit puts
out its Top 12 Homicides of the year.
1 - Alan Mijtus, 36 years old, is killed by his wife, armed with a
20-inch long vibrator. Mrs Mijtus had had enough of her husband's
strange sex practices and one night during a prolonged session of
fun she snapped, pushing all 20 inches of the vibrator into Alan's anus
until it ruptured several internal organs and caused severe bleeding.
2- Debby Mills-Newbroughton, 99 years old, was killed as she crossed
the road. She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road
with her daughter to go to her own birthday party her wheel chair was
hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake.
3- Peter Stone, 42 years old, is murdered by his 8 year old
daughter, who he had just sent to her room with no dinner.
Young Samantha. Stone felt that if she couldn't have dinner no one should,
and she promptly inserted 72 rat poison tablets into her father's coffee as
he prepared dinner. The victim took one sip and promptly collapsed.
Samantha Stone was given a suspended sentence as the judge felt she didn't
realize what she was doing, until she tried to poison her mother using the
same method one month later.
4- David Danil, 17 years old, was killed by his girl friend
he attempted to have his way with her. His unwelcome advance
was met with double-barrelled shotgun. Charla's (the girlfriends'😉 father
had given it to her an hour before the date started, just in case.
6- Megan Fry, 44 years old, is killed by 14 state troopers after she wandered
onto a live firing, fake town simulation. Seeing all the
troopers walking slowly down the street Megan Fry had jumped
out in front f them and yelled Boo! The troopers, thinking she was a pop
up fired 67 shots between them, over 40 of them hitting the target.
She just looked like a very real looking target, one of the troopers
stated in his report.
7- Julia Smeeth, 20 years old, was killed by brother Michael
because she talked on the phone too long, Michael clubbed his
sister to death with a cordless phone, then stabbed her several times
with the broken aerial.
8- Helena Simms, Wife to the famous American nuclear scientist
Harold Simms was killed by her husband after she had an affair
with the neighbour. Over a period of 3 months Harold substituted
Helena's eye shadow with a Uranium composite that was highly
radioactive, until she died of radiation poisoning. A lthough she
suffered many symptoms, including total air loss, skin welts,
blindness, extreme nausea and even had an ear lobe drop off, the
victim never attended a doctor's surgery or hospital for a check up.
9- Military Sergeant John Joe Winter killed his two timing wife by
loading her car with Trintynitrate explosive (similar to C4).
The Ford Taurus she was driving was filled with 750 kgs of explosive,
forming a force twice as powerful as the Oklahoma Bombing.. Several
persons heard the explosion some up to 14 kilometres away. No traces of
the car or the victim were ever found, only a 55-meter deep crater, and 500m
of missing road.
10- Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbour in the
early hours of a Sunday morning. Her neighbour, Falt Hame, for
years had a mounted F4 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would
fire the jet engine, aimed at an empty block at the back of his property.
Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff 's officers
about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a
notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss
Winter over for a cup of coffee and a chat about the whole situation. What
Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she
walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5,000 degrees,
killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.
11- Michael Lewis, angry with his gay boyfriend, used the movie,
Die Hard With a Vengeance as inspiration. He drugged his boyfriend,
Berry, into an almost catatonic state, then dressed him only in a
double-sided white board that read Death to all Niggers! on one side,
God Loves the KKK. On the other. Lewis then drove the victim to
downtown Harlem and dropped him off. Two minutes later Berry was
deceased.
12- Conrad Middleton, 26 years old, was killed by his twin brother Brian
after a disagreement over who should take the family home after their
parents' passed away. Conrad had a nasal problem, and had no sense
of smell. After the argument Brian stormed out of the house, then snuck
back later, and turned on the 3 gas taps in the house, filling it with gas.
He then left out a box of cigars, a lighter and a note saying, Sorry
for fighting, have a puff on me, Brian. Conrad promptly lit a cigar,
the house, and himself in the process
Originally posted by iamatigerthe thing is I know people who can do that one. Of course I'm not sure if its meant to be "I can make your breasts wiggle without touching them". Either way it is quite good.
Yes - similar to "I bet you £1 that I can make your breasts wiggle without touching them".😉
James
this is the list from belgianfreak excluding things i personally have done or regularly do. of interest may be the bikini wax! that was so sore i quit halfway through and i recommend that no male ever tries it, and number 41, touching your elbows together behind your back - what's so hard about that?
in general i think these sexist jokes (both sides) waste a lot of bandwidth and are deplorable, especially when you have read them all 50 times and, despite your begging, ranting and pleading, women still send them to you 😉
6. Get 3 different strangers to buy you drinks at the bar
8. Fit an extra pair of shoes in your purse.
11. Have friend zip your zipper.
12. Ask friend if you look fat.
19. Ware high heels.
22. Ware a thong.
26. Plan a wedding.
28. Sell Mary Kay.
34. Sleep with best friend's boyfriend.
40. Care about what star is dating whom.
it wasn't my list, and if I try to touch my elboys behind my back I fail by about 20cm - quite a lot concidering I can touch the floor with the flats of my hands and my head to my knees with straight legs without warming up.
as for the list the ones I have done or do regularly are:
1. Hug your best friend.
2. Share the bathroom with best friend.
10. Trade clothes with your friend.
12. Ask friend if you look fat.
depends how close youare to the friend. Or how drunk.
14. Skip cover charge at bar.
there are plenty of countries that don't do cover charges.
16. Ware lipstick.
17. Ware blush.
18. Ware eyeliner.
23. Ware a skirt.
25. Ware a dress.
the things you have to do for amateur dramatics. Thinking about it, I should have left padded bra in there too.
34. Sleep with best friend's boyfriend.
hey, we were tired and there was only 1 bed 😉
39. Enjoy any movie with Hugh Grant.
"4 weddings.." was good. And "About a boy" wasn't that bad. Or am I slipping?
Originally posted by belgianfreakI think my best friend would punch me in the head if I hug him... but I wouldn't mind... bit more open minded than him.
it wasn't my list, and if I try to touch my elboys behind my back I fail by about 20cm - quite a lot concidering I can touch the floor with the flats of my hands and my head to my knees with straight legs without warming up.
as for the list the ones I have done or do regularly are:
1. Hug your best friend.
2. Share the bathroom with best frien ...[text shortened]... Hugh Grant.
"4 weddings.." was good. And "About a boy" wasn't that bad. Or am I slipping?
I guess I have shared the bathroom with a friend.
I get some of my best shorts and golf shirts from one friend... but he don't want them back!!
my girlfriend did put mascara in my beard one day, it grows in thin.. but the mascara made me look like Zoro or something.
If I did like a movie with Hugh Grant I wouldn't tell anyone!!!
Yes, guys can't touch their elbows behind their back, but it is nice to have a lady give it a try.
😉
Originally posted by SirLoseALotwhy would you want to master that for , window shopping is my favourite pass time other than RHP ( of course) 😏
I have totally mastered the art of NOt staring at a woman's breasts.Unless they are naked,off course.Though,even then I sometimes manage,but never for long😛😛😛