Being as I'm not finding a new job, I am going to change course. I am replacing all the names I had been using as refrences, I will take anyone willing to recieve calls from potential employers. All you need to do is pretend you know me. Include huge lies about acomplishments that are very far fetched the farther from believeble the better!
Originally posted by cheshirecatstevensThat's so awesome. I love it.
Being as I'm not finding a new job, I am going to change course. I am replacing all the names I had been using as refrences, I will take anyone willing to recieve calls from potential employers. All you need to do is pretend you know me. Include huge lies about acomplishments that are very far fetched the farther from believeble the better!
I don't love that you spelled "references" wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!! Twice!!!!!!! Don't put that on your resume!
Dear Sir:
I am writing on behalf of cheshirecatstevens. I have known this fine individual for many years and I can honestly say without reservation that you could find no finer prospect for employment with your firm. He is highly motivated, reliable, and is a master (craftsman, professional, trademan, salesman (pick one)). Please feel free to contact me at any time for additional information.
coquette
Originally posted by coquetteyu forgot popcorn taster.!🙄
Dear Sir:
I am writing on behalf of cheshirecatstevens. I have known this fine individual for many years and I can honestly say without reservation that you could find no finer prospect for employment with your firm. He is highly motivated, reliable, and is a master (craftsman, professional, trademan, salesman (pick one)). Please feel free to contact me at any time for additional information.
coquette
Originally posted by cheshirecatstevensDear Sirs,
Being as I'm not finding a new job, I am going to change course. I am replacing all the names I had been using as refrences, I will take anyone willing to recieve calls from potential employers. All you need to do is pretend you know me. Include huge lies about acomplishments that are very far fetched the farther from believeble the better!
I know that cheshirecatstevens, being a highly motivated individual, will be an asset to your establishment and I highly recommend him for the position of jizz-mopper.
Ah Mr Cheshire, come in please...have a seat.
I've been looking over your application and everything seems in order. We checked your references and everyone contacted gave us glowing reports.
One thing did catch my eye. You claim under "hobbies" to be rated 3000 at a web site called Red Hot Pawn. Well, I'm a bit of a pawn pusher myself and I do keep a small travel board here in my desk. Do you think you could give me a quick game and point out my mistakes?
Mr Jaminson
Personal Department
Acme Industries
- Joined
- 18 Jan 07
- Moves
- 12477
Originally posted by cheshirecatstevensAnd what will you pay for this service?
Being as I'm not finding a new job, I am going to change course. I am replacing all the names I had been using as refrences, I will take anyone willing to recieve calls from potential employers. All you need to do is pretend you know me. Include huge lies about acomplishments that are very far fetched the farther from believeble the better!
Richard
Dear Sir or Madam,
Mr Cheshirecatstevens has worked for our company for five years as a contract killer. He was a hard worker, often doing more than he had been asked for. Among his many fine qualities, I would especially like to point out his ruthlessness, unscrupulousness and brutality. He solved conflicts with other members of the team effectively and was well liked among the remaining colleagues. As a dedicated member of PWEETA, he regularly invited the team to Baby Barbecues or animal torture shows. I can recommend Mr Cheshirecatstevens without reservation for jobs in the area of contract killing, butchering or politics.
Nord Lys
Blubberhouses Inc.
- Joined
- 14 Mar 04
- Moves
- 213674
Originally posted by NordlysDear Sir and Madman,
Dear Sir or Madam,
Mr Cheshirecatstevens has worked for our company for five years as a contract killer. He was a hard worker, often doing more than he had been asked for. Among his many fine qualities, I would especially like to point out his ruthlessness, unscrupulousness and brutality. He solved conflicts with other members of the team effectively and ...[text shortened]... or jobs in the area of contract killing, butchering or politics.
Nord Lys
Blubberhouses Inc.
There must be some mistake as the person you refer to in your letter was actually applying for a position as a mortician at our establishment and although he does seem to have an interesting background none of your mentioned qualifications would be considered appropriate for this position. Thanking you for your input I remain
Yours,
G.B.Stees RFPC, MCDR, AFRT
Heavens Gate Funeral Salon
Originally posted by NordlysHaha, Noodles, kablam!
Dear Sir or Madam,
Mr Cheshirecatstevens has worked for our company for five years as a contract killer. He was a hard worker, often doing more than he had been asked for. Among his many fine qualities, I would especially like to point out his ruthlessness, unscrupulousness and brutality. He solved conflicts with other members of the team effectively and ...[text shortened]... or jobs in the area of contract killing, butchering or politics.
Nord Lys
Blubberhouses Inc.
Originally posted by cheshirecatstevensTo Whom it May Concern:
Being as I'm not finding a new job, I am going to change course. I am replacing all the names I had been using as refrences, I will take anyone willing to recieve calls from potential employers. All you need to do is pretend you know me. Include huge lies about acomplishments that are very far fetched the farther from believeble the better!
I am writing to provide a job reference for cheshirecatstevens. Mr catstevens has sold over 60 million albums around the world since the late 1960s. His albums, "Tea for the Tillerman" and "Teaser and the Firecat" were both certified as Triple Platinum in the United States.
He has been given several awards for his work in promoting peace in the world, including 2003's World Award, the 2004 Man for Peace award, and the 2007 Mediterranean Prize for Peace.
In 2006, he returned to pop music, with his first album of new pop songs in 28 years, entitled "An Other Cup". Despite the characteristically puerile reference to the infamous "2G1C" video, Mr catstevens remains a popular and well-respected recording artist and philanthropist.
Sincerely,
rbmorris
Dear Sirs,
Rarely in life does one come across such a talented, intelligent, sophisticated, sincere, honest, and trustworthy as Cheshirecatstevens. While the two of us were serving in the Peacecorps, he single-handedly built a bridge across a raging tropical river so the villagers could cross in safety as the collected nuts and berries. During this same era, our village was being overrun by revolutionary fighters. Cheshirecatstevens successfully brokered a lasting peace, and was subsequently nominated for the Nobel peace prize.
These might seem like great accomplishmints, but to me they pale in comparison to his greatest act. Seeing the need for organ transplants at the local childens hospital, he donated both of his kidneys, his cornia's, his spleen, liver, skin, hair, teeth,gonads and penis to sick and needy children. After recovering fully, he ran in the New York marathon to raise money for PETA.
In conclusion, if you hire cheshirecatstevens, I beleive, hecan make you rich beyond your wildest dreams,
Sincerely.,
Duecer
To whom it may concern:
Mr. Cheshire has been with Motown Records for a number of years, but has yet to achieve the success that he did with other record companies.
Although his real name is Steven Demetre Georgiou, he has used many other names and been quite successful at it.
Previously known as Cat Stevens, he sang some nice songs, and got a bit famous.
Then he changed his name to Bob Dylan, and became a political spokesman for The Times; in fact, he changed them considerably.
Now he has changed his name again (to Yusuf Islam), and is to all intents and purposes relatively unknown, probably because everyone thinks he's a radical and they're frightened what he'll do to them.
Although we are prepared to have him on our books, he can work for you as well, and good luck to you and him.
Love and kisses to you all,
Michael Jackson