Some Truths that need to be embraced:
Aspartame doesn’t cause cancer. Though it does taste like crap.
Vaccines don’t make your kids autistic. Plus most of your kids are probably crappy as is.
Superfoods and body cleanses are total BS.
GMO’s are fine. Organic foods are fine too.
Crystals are just pretty rocks. But, you should probably stick a fistful of them up your bum just in case.
Cats and dogs aren’t vegans you morons.
Climate change is largely driven by mankind. I really wish it would go a little faster the apocalypse can’t come soon enough for me.
Chemtrails are totally real though.
@ghost-of-a-duke saidOh, and the Earth isn’t flat you nest of squirrels. Science Jesus weeps for how stupid that idea is.
Man really did walk on the moon. (No, really).
@sonhouse saidI used to think it was funny until I realized that some of them are totally serious.
@Hand-of-Hecate
The funniest part of the flat Earth deal is the explanation for why we have gravity.
@Hand-of-Hecate
That is indeed sad. Especially considering the world was proven round 3000 years ago with a couple of sticks.
@ghost-of-a-duke saidCows can walk upstairs but not down them. If you have a cow on your roof, best to chainsaw it up into smaller pieces before you throw it off.
If a cow lies down in a field, it ain't gonna rain.
@ghost-of-a-duke saidSounds about right, cows in the UK would’ve lost the use of their legs by now.
If a cow lies down in a field, it ain't gonna rain.
Two US Presidents who were assassinated were Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy
Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln
Both were assassinated by Southerners
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names
Both names are composed of fifteen letters
Lincoln was shot at the theatre named “Ford”
Kennedy was shot in a car called “Lincoln” made by “Ford”
Lincoln was shot in a theatre and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre
Both assassins were themselves assassinated before their trials.
Just saying.......
@pianoman1 saidSo what’s the plan for 2046?
Two US Presidents who were assassinated were Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Lincoln’s ...[text shortened]... theatre
Both assassins were themselves assassinated before their trials.
Just saying.......