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Silly signs

Silly signs

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h
Dann sind wir Helden

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Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. (PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

English sign in a German café: MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING

Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.

Outside a photographer's studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME

Sign warning of quicksand: QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER

Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.

Picadilly Circus: THIS ESCALATOR IS OUT OF SERVICE DUE TO A DEFECT. IT WILL BE REPAIRED AFTER THE DEFECT IS CORRECTED. THANK YOU.

Church in Bucks.: VISITORS ARE REQUESTED THAT THE DONATIONS FOR THE POOR DOES NOT INCLUDE VISITORS. PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE THE DONATIONS.

OXFORD CIRCUS: DELAYS ON BAKERLOO LINE ARE BEING CAUSED BY EARLIER DELAYS.

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

Sign on a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

Bank: THE CITY LINE TO WATERLOO IS OUT OF SERVICE. PASSENGERS WISHING TO USE THE CITY LINE ARE ADVISED TO FOLLOW THE SIGNS FOR WATERLOO AND USE THE CITY LINE.

A London restaurant: WANTED : MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES

Grampy Bobby
Boston Lad

USA

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Hilarious. Recommended.

R
OK SORRY

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Originally posted by helden
Sign in a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSE ...[text shortened]... ND USE THE CITY LINE.

A London restaurant: WANTED : MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES
LMAO

Great Big Stees

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Department of Redundancy Department

FB
Great Big Stees

In Check

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Department of Redundancy Department
On ladders I always thought they should add the word "Dumbass" after the sentence "Do Not Stand On Top Step".

That's how it would work in my world.

Great Big Stees

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Originally posted by Frank Burns
On ladders I always thought they should add the word "Dumbass" after the sentence "Do Not Stand On Top Step".

That's how it would work in my world.
Does anything work in your world Frank?😏

s
Slappy slap slap

Under your bed...

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LOL, my favorite was about the church door.

FB
Great Big Stees

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Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Does anything work in your world Frank?😏
Yes, but when you flush the toilet the water spins counterclockwise.

No drinking from the bidet either.

Grampy Bobby
Boston Lad

USA

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Helden, this is a message from my Mom in Boston.

She calls each night to chat and read to me from her

current novel in progress. At the conclusion of tonight's

call I read her your 'Silly Signs' post. Must confess, she's

a happy soul but I haven't heard her laugh so much

in one sitting in years. She asked me to be sure to

thank 'that nice man in Scotland'. My thanks too. -gb

h
Dann sind wir Helden

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Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
Helden, this is a message from my Mom in Boston.

She calls each night to chat and read to me from her

current novel in progress. At the conclusion of tonight's

call I read her your 'Silly Signs' post. Must confess, she's

a happy soul but I haven't heard her laugh so much

in one sitting in years. She asked me to be sure to

thank 'that nice man in Scotland'. My thanks too. -gb
Very nice of your Mom, I loved the last one about washing the dishes and the 2 waitresses. Think I would leave the dishes and get on with washing the 2 waitresses first 🙂.

SS

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