the first line of yer novel

i know the voices in my head are not real
but they do come up with some great ideas

LANGUAGE WARNING
The bullet shattered the back of his skull and tore through the soft tissues inside, removing life from his body, before exiting onto the chessboard in front of him, leaving only the black queen standing. “Check mate @#$%”, she whispered.

The scabbard squalled unenthusiastically as the corroded blade negotiated its long delayed withdrawal.

Please tell me the president didn't really say that.