The Hand of Hecate Help Forum

Originally posted by karoly aczel
I'm having trouble with women. Every time I meet one who seems nice she turns out to be a psycho. At least the last one wasn't so physically violent about it.
Any ideas?

Stop picking up women in the doctors waiting room.

Originally posted by divegeester
Stop picking up women in the doctors waiting room.

Ok, I'll give you a break down of the last ten years.

3 girlfriends. 1 for 7and 1/2 years and one child. I put up with her violence for those years. She would lose it even when she wasn't drunk. She stabbed me and often abused me physically, then when she came around and started to say "I love you" with actual intent behind it she suddenly broke it off and ran off with my friend. She has seen her kid 3 times this year (before it was every w'end for about 3 years). We broke up August 2011

2nd one was straight bar a few ciggies. We lasted a week after she continually 'lost it' whenever trying to communicate. My mum also witnessed this one. You really had to see it to believe it.

3rd one was 3 weeks ago til last night. She maintained that she was "normal" and "sane" , however in that 3 weeks she came home drunk every 2nd night and also had 3 major arguments with me where she said she was going to leave me.
Next morning I asked her if she remembered that she was leaving, whereupon she got all apologetic.
Point is that a grown woman (44 yrs old) was in denial of her own mental state.

Ok, I seek the help and wisdom of the Hand and nothing less .



And I met all three out busking.

Originally posted by karoly aczel
Ok, I'll give you a break down of the last ten years.

3 girlfriends. 1 for 7and 1/2 years and one child. I put up with her violence for those years. She would lose it even when she wasn't drunk. She stabbed me and often abused me physically, then when she came around and started to say "I love you" with actual intent behind it she suddenly broke it o ...[text shortened]... elp and wisdom of the Hand and nothing less .



And I met all three out busking.

I feel for you Krazy. You're too old and too set in your ways to give any real advice to. You simply won't take it. However, many of your issues with women stem from an inherent low self worth. You simply take way too much crap. This is unfortunate as you're basically a bright and creative guy.

One word of wisdom, given that you have no history of violence towards women or other instability/criminal tendencies, you can probably get away with punching one of these harlots right in the uterus. Don't pull it, just a good solid, full follow through punch to the crotch. I'm not typically an advocate of hitting women, however, this will certainly set any one of the three on the path to righteousness.

You need to find yourself someone good and deserving of sharing their life with you. Stop sabotaging yourself with lunatics. Next time you sucker yourself into believing "she'll change", or, "it's my fault" you should beat yourself in the crotch with a wrench until you come to your senses.

Make the decision to tolerate absolutely no crap from anyone from here on out. Make a vow, a blood oath, whatever, but stop being such a pussy.

Originally posted by karoly aczel
Ok, I'll give you a break down of the last ten years.

3 girlfriends. 1 for 7and 1/2 years and one child. I put up with her violence for those years. She would lose it even when she wasn't drunk. She stabbed me and often abused me physically, then when she came around and started to say "I love you" with actual intent behind it she suddenly broke it o elp and wisdom of the Hand and nothing less .



And I met all three out busking.

Take a step back and put yourself in the place of a nice, normal, attractive, well adjusted, financialy secure woman; now if you were her...would you look for a relationship by picking up a busker?

Originally posted by divegeester
Take a step back and put yourself in the place of a nice, normal, attractive, well adjusted, financialy secure woman; now if you were her...would you look for a relationship by picking up a busker?

At least he's not a mime.

Originally posted by divegeester
Take a step back and put yourself in the place of a nice, normal, attractive, well adjusted, financialy secure woman; now if you were her...would you look for a relationship by picking up a busker?

WTF?

It's obvious you have no idea. I would have thought all these women were nice, normal, attractive, well adjusted and financially secure. We got together for love and not for financial reasons. Sheesh. We got together because we shared values, because we loved each other who they were.
It was only later that I discovered they were not completely normal.
Still, I stayed with all of them, and it was they that left me in the end.
Especially the first one who was suicidal and depressed and really needed someone sane to re-balance her life.

I really dislike your insinuations about me.

Originally posted by karoly aczel
WTF?

It's obvious you have no idea. I would have thought all these women were nice, normal, attractive, well adjusted and financially secure. We got together for love and not for financial reasons. Sheesh. We got together because we shared values, because we loved each other who they were.
It was only later that I discovered they were not complete ...[text shortened]... ly needed someone sane to re-balance her life.

I really dislike your insinuations about me.

Hey I'm not the one beating you up dude.

You are asking for advice and I'm giving you good honest advice which is: don't pick up women who are attracted to buskers 'cos they are likely to be maladjusted bunny-boilers.

Of course if you don't like well intentioned truth, you can continue to surround yourself with pot-headed weirdo yes-friends who wouldn't recognise normality if it flipped them over and did them missionary.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I feel for you Krazy. You're too old and too set in your ways to give any real advice to. You simply won't take it. However, many of your issues with women stem from an inherent low self worth. You simply take way too much crap. This is unfortunate as you're basically a bright and creative guy.

One word of wisdom, given that you have no histo ...[text shortened]... e from here on out. Make a vow, a blood oath, whatever, but stop being such a pussy.

Thank you. I agree somewhat.
I am sick of being the nice guy that gets trampled on.
I am not set in my ways. I'm 38.

I really can't see myself having another girlfriend, ever.
After all, why would I need one?

And this is the point I reached about a week ago, when things were running smoothly with no.3 , ie. that I don'[t really want a girlfriend. As simple as that.
I do have some inner conflict about this, as I believe that it does take 2 to have a child, so basically 2 people should be able to enrich each others lives and have a happy family for their kids sake if nothing else. But then again, I am so happy by myself. Sex is not a problem. About the only thing I can think of is the "womans touch" around my home that I would appreciate. But all in all, I think I am going with my gut on this.

BTW people, obviously I have pointed out all the negative things I have put up with fro these women. We also had great times. Great sex. Happy family days, and some inner /spiritual growth - as all my relationships, since the commencement of no.1 , I have been totally truthful , not trying to paint a false picture of myself.
I figure if I tell them the truth and they still love me then it can really go some where.

Originally posted by divegeester
Hey I'm not the one beating you up dude.

You are asking for advice and I'm giving you good honest advice which is: don't pick up women who are attracted to buskers 'cos they are likely to be maladjusted bunny-boilers.

Of course if you don't like well intentioned truth, you can continue to surround yourself with pot-headed weirdo yes-friends who wouldn't recognise normality if it flipped them over and did them missionary.

Oh heck, you just don't get it.

Who did Jesus hang with? lowlifes, right?
Am I trying to compare myself to JC? No. I am just saying, the whole world needs loving, not just the nice, normal, well adjusted,etc...

Thank you for your advice but I am always more attracted to buskers and those that love all, that don't look for financial security and all that material crap that gets sold to us everyday, but really see a person for what they are.

As to calling them "yes-friends", I would have thought the COMPLETE opposite - that these women were independent and intelligent. These are the things that turn me on. Not niceness or normalness or whatever other security measures you think I should have in place.

I love my life. I am just unlucky in love and this has been the trend my whole life.
It's just the way things are.
And even though I have been unlucky, I have a beautiful son living with full time who is the light of my life. Whom is everything to me and who I am everything to.

New question: What are the major things we should all engage in to make the world a better place?

Originally posted by karoly aczel
Oh heck, you just don't get it.

Who did Jesus hang with? lowlifes, right?
Am I trying to compare myself to JC? No. I am just saying, the whole world needs loving, not just the nice, normal, well adjusted,etc...

Thank you for your advice but I am always more attracted to buskers and those that love all, that don't look for financial security and ...[text shortened]... full time who is the light of my life. Whom is everything to me and who I am everything to.

But I do get it Krazy. You're not thinking straight; you say "the whole world needs loving" and that "Jesus hung out with low-lifes" but of course these statements have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on you finding a nice girl. You are just fishing in the wrong pond and allowing your well intentioned (if somewhat sentimental) people-prinicples get in the way. You don't have to be a busker in order to attract a nice girl and prove you are a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy. Try a different approach and all the best to you.

Originally posted by divegeester
But I do get it Krazy. You're not thinking straight; you say "the whole world needs loving" and that "Jesus hung out with low-lifes" but of course these statements have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on you finding a nice girl. You are just fishing in the wrong pond and allowing your well intentioned (if somewhat sentimental) people-prinicples get in ...[text shortened]... ou are a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy. Try a different approach and all the best to you.

No , I like my friends and girlfriends. I will stick by them til the end and I will continue to help them as long as long as I can handle it. Which I can. Next !!

Anyway I fish the whole world , bud. Change the ways of the wicked and encourage the ways of the good. I love that. It makes me feel good and I am not going to start separating people into groups and thumbing up one group while thumbing down another. Get it yet?

And I've just had my 20th anniversary as busker and I'm wrapped!!

Originally posted by karoly aczel
No , I like my friends and girlfriends. I will stick by them til the end and I will continue to help them as long as long as I can handle it. Which I can. Next !!

Anyway I fish the whole world , bud. Change the ways of the wicked and encourage the ways of the good. I love that. It makes me feel good and I am not going to start separating people into groups and thumbing up one group while thumbing down another. Get it yet?

Yep. Good luck with the beatings.

Originally posted by karoly aczel
New question: What are the major things we should all engage in to make the world a better place?

Well, people that have it coming should get punched in the gut a whole lot more often than they do currently.