Go back
The Sexes

The Sexes

General

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Dear Diary,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, after it hears the words, I do.







One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, I don't feel like

it, I just want you to hold me.

I said WHAT????!!! So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

You must not be in tune with my emotional needs as a woman. I am thinking, What was her first clue? I finally realize that nothing was

going to happen that night so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with

her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three. She wanted matching shoes; I said lets get a pair for each outfit. went to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Well Let me tell you - she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck! I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this! You should have seen her face when she said, I think this is all, honey, lets go to the cash register.

could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No, sweetie, I don't feel

like buying all of this stuff now. You should have seen her face... it went completely blank. I then said, Really, honey. I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man. I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008. But I wasn't getting much anyway, so what the hell.

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

ROFL

Man, you got some serious sucking up to do 😉

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Paulie
ROFL

Man, you got some serious sucking up to do 😉
Sounds like they both have!
🙄 😛

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rapalla7
[b]Dear Diary,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, after it hears the words, I do.








after my divorce i was with this woman in bed and after some 4play Isaid i couldnt be bothered she was not to happy i could tell from what she called me but it was true??

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Oh, no....

😞

P-

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever, turn it down.😀
I think of myself as a sex camel.😵

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rapalla7

I think of myself as a sex camel.😵[/b]
Is that one hump or two 😉

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by Paulie
Is that one hump or two 😉
wichever, it's a bumpy ride...

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rapalla7
Dear Diary,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, after it hears the words ...[text shortened]... ntil sometime after the spring of 2008. But I wasn't getting much anyway, so what the hell.

hahahahaha, and oh no no no, personally if a guy tries to force sex he is a big bye bye in my eyes.....if a women does not feel up to it and the guy throws his teddy from the pram about it that is the worst thing he could do. but the act of revenge was quite nasty, though personally i do not take any money from a man but i suppose its different when your married. I bet she is really angry at you, i know how i would feel, she didn't do anything wrong to you, she just didn't want sex....but then again look at it from this point of view: you have had sex once, maybe twice etc.....and she still wants more sex and you can't physically do it....she will not throw a tantrum about it.
in my experience the guy that most impressed me was a guy that i was with last year, and when i said i was tired he said thats fine, lets just watch a film on the sofa....i was so impressed i changed my mind after the film. whereas i have had a guy try and force me and because of that i thought....right if you don't care what i want that i don't care what you want...you can wait longer now.
not having a go but trying to help you with a womans point of view.....but you did one of the worse things you could have possibly done.
Zoe🙄

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by purclecow
..not having a go but trying to help you with a womans point of view.....but you did one of the worse things you could have possibly done.
Zoe🙄
You do know it was a joke right?

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by mrmist
You do know it was a joke right?
oh, was it a joke....nope i didn't oh....i look like a moose now....thanks for telling my confused self

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rapalla7
Dear Diary,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, after it hears the words ...[text shortened]... ntil sometime after the spring of 2008. But I wasn't getting much anyway, so what the hell.

There's a fellow on the site that may be able to give you some guidance around this. He goes by Cribs.

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by rapalla7
Dear Diary,

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, after it hears the words ...[text shortened]... ntil sometime after the spring of 2008. But I wasn't getting much anyway, so what the hell.

You are so on the money, im not even married and i get this all the time, well, not all the time 😉 but too much for sure!

I understand, half the time it's not me that starts, you know, proceedings. She'll wait until im up for it so to speak, then it'll be some googly statement like 'oh, you men are all the same, only after one thing, bla bla bla, when you gonna do this thing or that, bla bla bla.' Either that or you'll be in the midst of for play and she'll ask some wierd question like 'do you think i should take those earings back' or something like that, really get's me.

Someone needs to tell all the women in the world that it's fine not to have sex if you don't want to JUST DON'T PRETEND THAT YOU BLOODY WANT TO!!!


Ahhh that feel's better. We should have more threads like this 😀

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by kirksey957
There's a fellow on the site that may be able to give you some guidance around this. He goes by Cribs.
Yo yo yo, I ain't never seen such sorry pimpin' in my whole life! Sounds
like a bunch of suckaz need a refresha course in Pimpin' 101, so get yo'
notebooks cuz you goin' school.

Listen up, cuz basically I be like a professional at handlin' women, so
I can share some advice.

Numba One: You gots to be establishin' yo' hierarchy up in there. Who tha pimp? Who tha ho? Know what I'm sayin'? If you can't do that, get
outta tha game.

Numba Two: Don't take no slackin'. If one of my ho's starts to get
lazy...Smack! Smack! That's tha first time. Tha second time she do,
she's outta tha stable, and I straight up get anotha to take her place, ya feel?
Cuz there be like a million others out there, so don't be settlin' fo' no dead weight.
Life be too short fo' that, fo' real.

Numba Three: Once you do find one of them real good ho's, you know tha kind,
you got to be treatin' 'em right (as long as they keep gettin' yo' money). Cuz if you don't, they gonna be leavin' yo' no-pimpin' ass and get wit some otha pimp (like me) and then you gonna be stuck wit no stable, no game, and no money.
Then what, fool?

So I've done what I can to help wit yo' education. Now it be up to you to
shine yo' shoes, polish yo' pimpstick, and hit tha road pimpin'. And do it right
this time so I ain't gotta get back up in here hollerin' at ya!

Cribs

Clock
Vote Up
Vote Down

OK.. that's it... I'm outta here. These things really scare me now... 😲

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.