This is a

story. This is a story with football, football, boobs, photography, and karate, so obviously there must be something that appeals to everyone. This is not a story that includes vegetables. Unless they sing like Bob the Tomato, vegetables don't add much to a story. This is not a story that includes dogs. Well, it did include a dog, but the dog peed on the football player's foot, so the football player headbutted him and, well, it wasn't pretty. This story doesn't include violence, so the dog had to be taken out of the story. We would've taken the headbutting football player out too, but then what would people talk about for the next four years? Where were we? Oh, yeah. This is a story. It has some stuff in it and other stuff was left out.

Does it have a chess playing footballers dog with big boobies in it?

Originally posted by reader1107
story. This is a story with football, football, boobs, photography, and karate, so obviously there must be something that appeals to everyone. This is not a story that includes vegetables. Unless they sing like Bob the Tomato, vegetables don't add much to a story. This is not a story that includes dogs. Well, it did include a dog, but the dog peed on ...[text shortened]... ere we? Oh, yeah. This is a story. It has some stuff in it and other stuff was left out.

Originally posted by Nordlys
What's a story without vegetables? I want some swedes and turnips. 🙁

So once upon a time, there were two football players. One was a goalkeeper and one was a quarterback. They met every week to play chess.

*You know what I'd really like?" Ben moved to E4.

"No, what?" Julio countered with E5. Stunning game so far, eh?

Ben paused. "I'd love to meet a beautiful Swedish babe."

Julio looked up. "Only if she has turnips."

Originally posted by reader1107
So once upon a time, there were two football players. One was a goalkeeper and one was a quarterback. They met every week to play chess.

*You know what I'd really like?" Ben moved to E4.

"No, what?" Julio countered with E5. Stunning game so far, eh?

Ben paused. "I'd love to meet a beautiful Swedish babe."

Julio looked up. "Only if she has turnips."

Ben studied the board a while as he contemplated his next move.

"Excuse me!"

Ben looked up as Julio started drooling.

"I work for Swedish Turnip Gazette. Is it OK if I take your picture? We're doing a feature on footballers."

Julio, being the football player rather than the football player, was bilingual. Unfortunately, he didn't speak Swedish. "Vær så snill og gift seg meg straks ! "

"Huh?" Ben added as he kicked Julio under the table. "I saw her first!"

"Nonsense," Julio replied. "You only saw her boobies. I can appreciate her for who she really is! Really!"

"Yeah, right. What color are her eyes?"

"Eyes?"

"See, I told you! I saw her first!" Then he turned to the lovely photographer. "I have vegetables at home, too! You can take pictures of them as well. I didn't tell the narrator of the story because otherwise she'd pick some other guy for this role."

where's the Karate??
😠

Forgetting that she wasn't a gropable groupie, Bob reached out to touch Berit, the beautiful photographer. He wasn't aiming to shake her hand, however. Berit automatically reacted due to years of karate, effectively ending Bob's family tree for a while.

Julio looked into Berit's eyes, nearly drowning in their deep blue, or else nearly drowning in the deep bull of this narrative. In any case, he was in some sort of danger in a metaphysical sort of way. "I have ... turnips. At home. Really. And a dog. Do you like dogs?"

Originally posted by reader1107
Julio looked into Berit's eyes, nearly drowning in their deep blue, or else nearly drowning in the deep bull of this narrative. In any case, he was in some sort of danger in a metaphysical sort of way. "I have ... turnips. At home. Really. And a dog. Do you like dogs?"

what about a grotesquely deformed mysterious man ??

Berit paused and scrolled back to the top of this story. "There's no dog in the story. It says so in the first post. You hurt the dog. Remember?"

"No, no, my little Aurora Borealis," Julio replied, whispering aside to Bowmann that this is the sort of thing he types into google to make sure it's spelled correctly. "That was someone else. Yeah. That was ... Bob!"

"Um, Bob is the quarterback. Quarterbacks are to physical aggression as nuns are to keggers. Well, maybe that's a bad example."