Originally posted by moonbusDear sir,
Dear Sir,
May it come to your attention that free leaflets are free. As we have made zero profit on them, we are happy to transfer to your numbered Swiss bank account the sum of 0% of our profit on the free leaflets. Just fill in the attached forms in triplicate, notarized, citing your authorization etc. etc.
Yours,
The Swiss Bankers' Association
...[text shortened]... maintaining your Swiss bank account.
PPS Would you care to receive one of our free flealets?
We acknowledge our administrative error in billing you for the distribution of your free leaflets. We note however, in your last correspondence, that you offered to send us one of your free 'flealets.'
You are hereby notified that is a criminal act to 'let out fleas' without first notifying the Inland Revenue. We therefore inform you of the penalty charge of £1200 which we ask you to forward at your earliest convenience.
Yours,
Chief Tax Officer
Originally posted by Ghost of a DukeDear Sir,
Dear sir,
We acknowledge our administrative error in billing you for the distribution of your free leaflets. We note however, in your last correspondence, that you offered to send us one of your free 'flealets.'
You are hereby notified that is a criminal act to 'let out fleas' without first notifying the Inland Revenue. We therefore inform you of ...[text shortened]... f £1200 which we ask you to forward at your earliest convenience.
Yours,
Chief Tax Officer
We hereby acknowledge a grievous typographical error which unintentionally occurred in our previous correspondence. This was due to a fault in the speech recognition software on our recently upgraded-to-Windows-10 computer. We kindly ask you to forward your claim to Redmond Calif.
Yours most sincerely,
The Swiss Banker
PS The offer of three teapots still stands.
PPS Excuse the typographical error. That should have been freak tree snots.
PPPS We are rolling back to Windows 8.1 forthwith.
PPPPS If you should require a numbered bank account free of service fees, we are at your disposal.
Originally posted by moonbusDear sir,
Dear Sir,
We hereby acknowledge a grievous typographical error which unintentionally occurred in our previous correspondence. This was due to a fault in the speech recognition software on our recently upgraded-to-Windows-10 computer. We kindly ask you to forward your claim to Redmond Calif.
Yours most sincerely,
The Swiss Banker
PS The offer of ...[text shortened]... PPS If you should require a numbered bank account free of service fees, we are at your disposal.
We, at the Tax Office, are very much impressed at your tenacity and are prepared to overlook your preoccupation with tea pots. Further, we would like to headhunt you into the Inland Revenue and offer you a lucrative position and salary. In order for us to process your paperwork,....please forward a cheque for £1200 at your earliest convenience.
Yours,
Chief Tax Officer
Originally posted by Ghost of a DukeDear Sir,
Dear sir,
We, at the Tax Office, are very much impressed at your tenacity and are prepared to overlook your preoccupation with tea pots. Further, we would like to headhunt you into the Inland Revenue and offer you a lucrative position and salary. In order for us to process your paperwork,....please forward a cheque for £1200 at your earliest convenience.
Yours,
Chief Tax Officer
It appears that you are desperately hard up to raise 1200 pounds. (Accumulated Dartford Tunnel crossings, perhaps? Well, none of our business, really.)
We would be happy to extend to you a credit for 1200 pounds at an interest rate of 12% per annum (you seem to like twelves).
Pay us back whenever you should return to solvency; we’re not in a hurry. We do ask, however, that you make payments in gold sovereigns.
Yours,
The Swiss Banker
PS The free leaflets are still free.
Originally posted by moonbus🙂 Think i'll just take the leaflet.
Dear Sir,
It appears that you are desperately hard up to raise 1200 pounds. (Accumulated Dartford Tunnel crossings, perhaps? Well, none of our business, really.)
We would be happy to extend to you a credit for 1200 pounds at an interest rate of 12% per annum (you seem to like twelves).
Pay us back whenever you should return to solvency; we’re not in ...[text shortened]... yments in gold sovereigns.
Yours,
The Swiss Banker
PS The free leaflets are still free.