Originally posted by shavixmirSeeing as you don't really care I feel obligated to elaborate....
What's pathetic?
What exactly is pathetic?
Go on! Go on! Explain it then!
EDIT: Not that I really care, mind you...
Best explained by a personal story....
When I was ALOT younger I was what you'd call a little wild. Well one night (booze involved) I decided to shave my head bald. This was funny and very amusing to all those at the party.
Anyway.....
I never knew it would become a life lesson at the time but it did. Many of my so called "friends" at the time no longer would associate with me after that soley based on my appearance.
I was still the exact same person, so why the change in attitide I wondered. To me it was only hair and it grew back quickly (and healthier!)
I went on to do alot more crazy things for the fun of it but I learned what a true friend was, those who stood by me because they actually liked ME. This was over 15yrs ago now and I still remain friends with those who saw my true beauty, my personality, not my hairdo.
I have learned never to judge someone on their appearance and from this have had many great friendships that have stood the test of time.
We all become a shriveled up mess of wrinkles and grey hair in the end.
To judge someone based soley on their physical appearance is pathetic. It's the person that matters not the packaging. Ugliness comes from within.
Would you rather have a beatifully wrapped present containing a lump of crap or a not so beautifully wrapped present containing a precious gem?
Your call.
Originally posted by Jonny dYes, she has the right to hate anyone she likes. However, she should choose better reasons to dislike someone. No one can choose what they look like. The most attractive person can be rude and cruel. Your behavior is what truly makes you ugly or beautiful.
I´m asking this cause my girlfriend used to hate people who didn´t look good. Is she allowed to think bad(not to discriminate but to think bad) about people who are ugly?
Originally posted by Hand of HecateNo, I don't get the pun.
Define ugly. I've always had a thing for what my more dubious associates would term 'fat chicks'. I would refer to them as nubile voluptuous beauties. I love a sensual, full figured woman. Scrawny stick figures are for amateurs (anyone get the pun?).
Plus, nobody is ugly with the lights out.
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Originally posted by Jonny dPeople are *allowed* to hate anyone they want, for whatever reason they want. When you find yourself hating people as a group, it would be wise to ask yourself:
I´m asking this cause my girlfriend used to hate people who didn´t look good. Is she allowed to think bad(not to discriminate but to think bad) about people who are ugly?
- Is this belief rational?
- Is this belief effective/useful?
- Is this belief something I'd like to change?
Our brains find generalizing irresistible. In most cases being able to generalize (i.e. find commonalities from past experience and apply it to future, similar circumstances) is an enormously powerful survival skill. Without tghat ability, you would have to totally analyze every aspect of every situation only from the immediately available data.
When people rank "desirable qualities", almost everyone ranks the qualities they possess high, and those they do not low. Very attractive people think being attactive is a very important quality, intelligent people favor intelligence, social people favor social skills, etc. We also tend to surround ourselves with friends who share our values. This provides a support system that reinforces our values. So ... an attractive person who would not dream of dating the an ugly person not only feels justified, but his/her friends support that behavior.
My conclusion:
a) It's likely your girlfriend is attractive
b) There's only a problem if you and your girlfriend grossly disagreed about where the qualities of attactiveness and superficiality rank on the list of important qualities.
--rich
Originally posted by mokkoIsn't it unbelievable how much of our social structures are based on unstated rules, like we will always look a certain way, and behave a certain way?
I never knew it would become a life lesson at the time but it did. Many of my so called "friends" at the time no longer would associate with me after that soley based on my appearance.
I was still the exact same person, so why the change in attitide I wondered. To me it was only hair and it grew back quickly (and healthier!)
Not only can you be shunned by your supposed friends for changing something about yourself, you can also be shunned for *not* changing, if the group goes in a direction you don't want to go.
In our struggle to establish an identity, we sure spend a lot of time trying to do what other people expect us to do.
--rich
Originally posted by Jonny dYour girlfriend epitomises what is wrong with western culture. Shallow, self-centered, (probably) sparsley educated and above all, a lack of ability to think.
I´m asking this cause my girlfriend used to hate people who didn´t look good. Is she allowed to think bad(not to discriminate but to think bad) about people who are ugly?
Originally posted by RookRAKThis is something I was fortunate enough to learn to avoid at a young age. I am proud of who I am and would never compramise my identity to "fit" in with someone elses ideals. I wish more people could enjoy being who thay are without fear of alienation from others. We all have something special about us that makes us unique and valuable. It's sad that a person would feel compelled to hide their natural gifts in order to maintain superficial friendships.
In our struggle to establish an identity, we sure spend a lot of time trying to do what other people expect us to do.
--rich
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Originally posted by mokkoWell said.
Seeing as you don't really care I feel obligated to elaborate....
Best explained by a personal story....
When I was ALOT younger I was what you'd call a little wild. Well one night (booze involved) I decided to shave my head bald. Thi ...[text shortened]... ully wrapped present containing a precious gem?
Your call.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Making judgements on the inner self by what they see on the outside is also a superset of racism.
Same applies to how a lot of people judge themselves and others by what they earn and own.
Another way of thinking of it is how would people around you suddenly think if you were to win millions of pounds/dollars? Would people who knew you but hardly paid attention to you suddenly become your friend? Would your current friends start contacting you more often? If you were already wealthy and you were to lose the lot, will your friends stick by you?
These thoughts also puts life in a new perspective. Observe how materialistic your friends are. Are they really your friends or just friends with your outer shell?
I was thinking about this thread as I walked to the store and was just wondering.......
Seeing as we are never sure who we are talking to, weather they are attractive or not, I was wondering if anyone has pictured someone to be attractive or unattractive according the personality they've protrayed within these forums?