-Removed-"Joke #2: A mushroom walks into this pub and sits down at the counter. He's about to order a drink when the barman takes one look at him and said: "You, out! We don't serve mushrooms in this place!" Stunned, the mushroom pleads with the barman: "Please, have a heart! I'm a Fun-gi!" http://www.irishabroad.com/Culture/pubs/jokes/an_animal_walks_into_a_pub.asp
a string walks into a bar. the bartender sees him and says we don't serve strings here,you have to leave. so the string goes outside,rubs his ends on the sidewalk,and ties himself into a knot. when he goes back in,bartender asks aren't you the string i just kicked out of here? string says nope,i'm a frayed knot.