Originally posted by floodbaitEVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH
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There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black
1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial
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But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Fathers business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.
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But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil
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But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
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But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures
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But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proves that Jesus was a woman:
1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do
Originally posted by floodbaitBattling Egos
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A bishop, a judge, and a conductor were discussing their careers, and got into an argument about which of them was the greatest.
The judge said, "When I step into the courtroom, everyone stands to pay me respect."
The bishop said, "They stand? I have people kneel before me and kiss my ring."
To which the conductor replied, "Ha! I got you both beat. When I step on the podium people look down, cover their eyes, and say 'Oh my God!'
Originally posted by floodbaitPopular Sayings, modified by the Internet
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- Home is where you hang your @
- The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
- Great groups from little icons grow.
- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
- C: is the root of all directories.
- Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
- The modem is the message.
- Too many clicks spoil the browse.
- The geek shall inherit the earth.
- A chat has nine lives.
- Don't byte off more than you can view.
- Fax is stranger than fiction.
- What boots up must come down.
- Windows will never cease.
- In Gates we trust.
- Virtual reality is its own reward.
- Modulation in all things.
- A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
- There's no place like http://www.home.com
- Know what to expect before you connect.
- Oh, what a tangled Web site we weave when first we practice.
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1 edit
I think I've told this one before. Oh well, here goes:
A Rabbi and a Priest are walking by a boys' elementary school when the Priest turns to the Rabbi and says, "Hey Rabbi, is it just me or do you get the urge to just f-ck all those boys?" to which the Rabbi replies "Of course, but out of what?"