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Originally posted by kirksey957You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig sh!t, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
I think the better question is disposal of the body.
Step 1: Freeze body
Step 2: Woodchipper (Like in Fargo)
Step 3: Collect remains and cremate
Step 4: Thoroughly wash chipper in bleach solution.
Step 5: Dismantle woodchipper
Step 7; Take cremains to construction site and add to quick setting concrete
Other option: take cremains and ...[text shortened]... 9: Take dismantled woodchipper to scrap metal salvage.
Step 10: Return to pigs. Have barbecue