Online chess vs. live chess

Originally posted by masscat
Yeah. I had an opponent study the position for 15 min. then looked up & told me he was announcing mate in 8. Told him I didn’t see it and wanted to play it out. So he muttered something & went & fetched the TD who told him, “You ain’t Morphy. Play it out.” So every move he slammed the piece down and hammered the clock (mine). That didn’t bother me so much as the fact he mated me in eight.

I can see where that took a little edge off the situation and added some fuel to his fire.

BTW, another funny thing to mess with your opponent in a tournament: as soon as you sit down, but before play begins, in your most contrite and sincere voice, ask your opponent "Now how exactly does each piece move again?" The glazed stare you will receive is worth the price of admission.

I like to smile through out the game as if I'm wining, even if I'm not....it unnerves the opponent.

I once played a kid who had an....interesting way of moving pieces. He was chewing gum and whenever it was his turn to move he would take the gum out of his mouth, stick it to the piece, move the piece with the gum, then put the gum back in his mouth and continue chewing it...

When I went to the World Youth Chess Championships in 2005 I watched one boy in the "Under 10" section play. On his opponents move he would often pick his nose and eat it. 😞 I am not sure if he did it to disgust his opponents and hence, distract them from the game, or purely because he liked the taste. 😕

Originally posted by Raven69
When I went to the World Youth Chess Championships in 2005 I watched one boy in the "Under 10" section play. On his opponents move he would often pick his nose and eat it. 😕

What's odd about that?!😀

What about eating during a game? Does it bother you when your opponent seems to be having dinner while playing chess as an afterthought?

Originally posted by shortcircuit
Online chess has many merits and several detriments versus playing live games. I enjoy the fact that you can simultaneously be playing games against competitors all over the world without any travel expense. You can play when you like in the comfort of your own surroundings. You can dress like a slob (and there are a ton of you that do because I have pl ...[text shortened]... gamesmanship efforts similar to these? In some of your cases, you have probably used them. LOL

I love online Chess, I can play it pretty much anytime and I don't have to wear pants (something I've been banned from several OTB Tournaments for). Actually, I particularly enjoy gentle touching my nipples while clicking my mouse and eviscerating my opoonents.

I have been disqualified/banned from Tournaments/Clubs for the following reasons:

1. While working on assignment in South East Asia, I was kicked out of the British Bangcok Yellow River Chess Club for having my boy, Dat Phut, assault this Walrus looking gentleman in from London. He worked for Shell Oil and Dat Phut leapt upon him like a crazed Monkey and stabbed him in the face with the black bishop. I felt that this was justified as he'd just forked my Knight and Queen with a pawn of all things. This caused me to spill my glass of Port and exstinguish my last Monte Cristo Cigar.

2. While at casual tournament in Ames Iowa, I started eating a large order of Cheese fries and cracked open a six pack of Hieniken Keg Cans. This actually didn't seem to bother anyone, however, after my fifth beer I made a critical error and lost my Queen. Furious, I shook up my last beer an blasted my opponent, a local college student right in the pants. I was thrown out by two members of the college wrestling team who then stole my cheese fries.

3. Most recently, I was kicked out of the Key Largo Resort Chess & Fishing Tournament. Funnily enough, this wasn't because of my yellow thong, flip flops and cut of hot pink T-shirt... oh, and I'm sort of chunky. This strategy won me several games against superior opponents.. I believe my insistance on taking short breaks for lunges and stretches did the job. What got me kicked out was having.. well, the mouse popped out of his house in mid lunge while playing against this retired Jewish gentleman from New York.. otherwise, I would have won the tournament.

I have may other similar stories, but, I have to get my funk on. Let me know if you want more.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
I have may other similar stories, but, I have to get my funk on. Let me know if you want more.

Uh, no thanks.

Originally posted by Mad Rook
Uh, no thanks.

Loser. I'm giving you tactics to WIN! Second place is the first loser. Get used to it.

I'll share a story from a buddy of mine, and knowing him, it's completely true.

He was playing at the National Open at Bally's in Vegas a couple years ago. His opponent was this guy around 20 years old or so. There was nothing that remarkable about him, but his girlfriend...holy smokes...you know how just about any woman will turn heads in a tournament hall full of guys? Well, apparently this one would turn heads out on the Strip -- high heels, short skirt, the whole bit. Pretty damn hot.

The whole game, she's all over her boyfriend, massaging his back, sitting with her arm around him. My buddy said he wouldn't have been surprised if she got up on him and gave him a lapdance right there during the game. She seemed to be really fiending for some action, but with 40/2 time controls, she had a while to wait.

All this time that she's all over her boyfriend, my buddy notices that she's kind of giving him the eye as well. At first he thought it was just because he had been staring at her, but then...

There came a position in the late middle game, the sort that is extremely complicated, on which the entire game hinges, and that can require a 30 minute think. My buddy makes his move, and as his opponent settles down into a deep think, he gets up to stretch and use the bathroom. He comes out of the bathroom, and leaning against the wall is this guy's hot girlfriend. She catches his eye and walks right toward him. She grabs his arm and says, "I want you."

Without any hesitation, he heads for the elevator and they go up to his room. He bangs his opponent's girlfriend while the poor guy is straining over some chess calculations 9 floors below! How awesome is that!

Anyway, they finish pretty quickly and he heads back to the board. Just as he's entering the tournament hall, he sees his opponent make his move and hit the clock. What great timing!

One of my favorite OTB stories ever. The only downside is that my buddy won that game which caused his opponent to withdraw from the tournament, so he never got to see her again.

Originally posted by DoctorScribbles
I'll share a story from a buddy of mine, and knowing him, it's completely true.

He was playing at the National Open at Bally's in Vegas a couple years ago. His opponent was this guy around 20 years old or so. There was nothing that remarkable about him, but his girlfriend...holy smokes...you know how just about any woman will turn heads in a t ...[text shortened]... used his opponent to withdraw from the tournament, so he never got to see her again.

Is your buddy a White Devil? From what I've seen most of the Vegas Invitationals discriminate against the Black Man. While the White Women frequently throw themselves at me, I can't get a seat in Vegas.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Loser. I'm giving you tactics to WIN!

Again, no thanks. Keep it. It looks like you might need it more than I.

Originally posted by cmsMaster
🙂 Did you say anything to him afterwards?

That could be published here?

I once had an opponent who was talking to his pieces. When I told this to my dog, he almost fainted from laughter.

Originally posted by kbaumen
I once had an opponent who was talking to his pieces. When I told this to my dog, he almost fainted from laughter.

hahahaahahahahahhahahahahaaa 🙄😀😛

Yeah, what kind of freak could talk to his pieces?!

Originally posted by kbaumen
Yeah, what kind of freak could talk to his pieces?!

😠

It helps me focus on my game! Is that a crime?