improvement. I'd like to say enjoyment, but many things I put myself through for improvement are not that enjoyable. playing until you're about to puke, analysing until your head hurts, feverishly twitching through the night moving pieces in some nightmarish position half-asleep. it is my idea of fun, but 'enjoyment' isn't the right word for it.
I don't mean to be boring but: because of my medications, I have nearly no short term memory. I have books, but can't remember anything. When I play I depend on my analytic abilities and intuition. My concentration is limited. I will never be a really good player. So be it. But when I win, I enjoy it. Perhaps more than most. Enjoy it all while you can. We never know when our name will come up.