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Science Forum

Science Forum

  1. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    07 Jul '09 09:54
    Post your own science based jokes here! Not googled other peoples stuff, your own originals!
    I'll start with one of my own:

    Did you hear about the philosopher who wasn't sure if he was constipated or diarrhetic? He figured it out through a process of elimination.
  2. 07 Jul '09 17:35
    One atom says to the other: "I think I just lost an electron". The other atom replies: "Are you sure?" - "Yes, I'm positive."

    x² and e^x are walking through an alley when suddenly the evil differentiator shows up. x² runs away, but e^x is not scared. Suddenly e^x vanishes. "Haha", the evil differentiator says, "I am d/dy!"
  3. Standard member Traveling Again
    I'm 1/4 Ninja
    07 Jul '09 17:43
    Three statisticians went hunting and came upon a buck. The first statistician took aim and shot
    10 feet above the buck. The second statistician then took aim and shot 10 feet below the buck.
    The third statistician yelled "Got it!"
  4. Standard member shavixmir
    Guppy poo
    07 Jul '09 20:21
    I can tell this thread is going to be a hoot...

    Has my bunsen burner exploded, or am I just pleased to meet you?
  5. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    07 Jul '09 21:00
    Naked guy wrapped in cellophane walks into a hillbilly psychiatrist office, the psych says 'I kin clearly see yer nuts'
  6. Subscriber AThousandYoung
    Do ya think?
    07 Jul '09 23:42
    Originally posted by KazetNagorra
    One atom says to the other: "I think I just lost an electron". The other atom replies: "Are you sure?" - "Yes, I'm positive."

    x² and e^x are walking through an alley when suddenly the evil differentiator shows up. x² runs away, but e^x is not scared. Suddenly e^x vanishes. "Haha", the evil differentiator says, "I am d/dy!"
    Haha!
  7. Standard member Traveling Again
    I'm 1/4 Ninja
    08 Jul '09 06:14
    Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The
    Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples
    looked very puzzled, and finally Peter asked, "What on earth does Jesus
    mean?" John said, "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."
  8. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    09 Jul '09 21:31
    You heard about the Math club that planted a tree for their favorite Math Professor? It had square roots.
  9. Standard member Traveling Again
    I'm 1/4 Ninja
    09 Jul '09 22:14
    What does DNA stand for?

    National Dyslexics Association
  10. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    10 Jul '09 15:15
    Originally posted by Traveling Again
    What does DNA stand for?

    National Dyslexics Association
    Did you hear about the dyslexics dilemma?
    Is there a Dog?
  11. 10 Jul '09 16:04
    Originally posted by sonhouse
    Did you hear about the dyslexics dilemma?
    Is there a Dog?
    Similar joke...

    What does the insomniac dislexic agnostic do at night?

    Stay up wondering if there is a dog.
  12. 11 Jul '09 07:40
    Did you hear the one about the dwarf psychic who escaped from prison?

    There was a small medium at large.
  13. 11 Jul '09 11:53
    Originally posted by PsychoPawn
    Similar joke...

    What does the insomniac dislexic agnostic do at night?

    Stay up wondering if there is a dog.
    I heard that one years ago. So I am going to throw one out that I didn't make up too.

    Did you hear about the constipated mathamatician?

    He worked the problem out with pencil and paper.
  14. Standard member sonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    13 Jul '09 16:40
    Originally posted by joe beyser
    I heard that one years ago. So I am going to throw one out that I didn't make up too.

    Did you hear about the constipated mathamatician?

    He worked the problem out with pencil and paper.
    George Bernard Shaw did that one.
  15. 16 Jul '09 14:10
    A programmer's suicide note:

    cout << "Goodbye world" << endl;