Science based jokes:

Post your own science based jokes here! Not googled other peoples stuff, your own originals!
I'll start with one of my own:

Did you hear about the philosopher who wasn't sure if he was constipated or diarrhetic? He figured it out through a process of elimination.

One atom says to the other: "I think I just lost an electron". The other atom replies: "Are you sure?" - "Yes, I'm positive."

x² and e^x are walking through an alley when suddenly the evil differentiator shows up. x² runs away, but e^x is not scared. Suddenly e^x vanishes. "Haha", the evil differentiator says, "I am d/dy!"

Three statisticians went hunting and came upon a buck. The first statistician took aim and shot
10 feet above the buck. The second statistician then took aim and shot 10 feet below the buck.
The third statistician yelled "Got it!"

I can tell this thread is going to be a hoot...

Has my bunsen burner exploded, or am I just pleased to meet you?

Naked guy wrapped in cellophane walks into a hillbilly psychiatrist office, the psych says 'I kin clearly see yer nuts'

Originally posted by KazetNagorra
One atom says to the other: "I think I just lost an electron". The other atom replies: "Are you sure?" - "Yes, I'm positive."

x² and e^x are walking through an alley when suddenly the evil differentiator shows up. x² runs away, but e^x is not scared. Suddenly e^x vanishes. "Haha", the evil differentiator says, "I am d/dy!"

Haha!

Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The
Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples
looked very puzzled, and finally Peter asked, "What on earth does Jesus
mean?" John said, "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."

You heard about the Math club that planted a tree for their favorite Math Professor? It had square roots.

What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexics Association

Originally posted by Traveling Again
What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexics Association

Did you hear about the dyslexics dilemma?
Is there a Dog?

Originally posted by sonhouse
Did you hear about the dyslexics dilemma?
Is there a Dog?

Similar joke...

What does the insomniac dislexic agnostic do at night?

Stay up wondering if there is a dog.

Did you hear the one about the dwarf psychic who escaped from prison?

There was a small medium at large.

Originally posted by PsychoPawn
Similar joke...

What does the insomniac dislexic agnostic do at night?

Stay up wondering if there is a dog.

I heard that one years ago. So I am going to throw one out that I didn't make up too.

Did you hear about the constipated mathamatician?

He worked the problem out with pencil and paper.

Originally posted by joe beyser
I heard that one years ago. So I am going to throw one out that I didn't make up too.

Did you hear about the constipated mathamatician?

He worked the problem out with pencil and paper.

George Bernard Shaw did that one.

A programmer's suicide note:

cout << "Goodbye world" << endl;