@Metal-Brain
It is because gravity is not a FORCE as such, it is a bending of spacetime, and like a ball let loose on a hill, the ball gains kinetic energy just falling down the hill and so does matter falling down that spacetime curve we call gravity.
That IS time dilation, spacetime curvature RESULTS in time slowing down and that is a real slowdown and very accurate atomic clocks can now measure the change in time flow from one clock one meter higher than another because one meter change in altitude causes a tiny but measurable change in time flow which for some reason you are obsessed with calling it 'time dilation'. And THAT change comes from mass. More mass, slower time flow.
Time gets UNdilated if you must, by going UP and out of a spacetime curve towards more flat spacetime curved space, that is to say away from big masses so time flows faster at the orbit of Pluto than it does on anything in orbit around the sun at say Earth distance, 93 odd million miles out compared to a couple three billion miles out for Pluto.
But plowing into that spacetime curve with high velocity ALSO causes changes in time flow, closer to c, the slower time flows for that particle or spacecraft if we can ever actually GET close to c.
THAT is why we say time flow changes, you want to call time dilation, has TWO separate physics causes and therefore cannot be the fundamental in the phenomena. Time flow changes are the RESULT of being in a steep gravity well AND being in a craft simply going close to the speed of light.
So you go to a star say 100 ly away and you are like .999999c so the trip takes say a month for you, you spend a year there, come back at the same velocity and you find Earth clocks register 201 years having going by on Earth but only a year and a couple of months goes by for you since every atom, every particle on the ship slows down timewise and so your watch slows down by that amount and you THINK you are going faster than c but in fact all that happens is the FLOW of time changes by the velocity being so close to c.