1. Not Kansas
    Joined
    10 Jul '04
    Moves
    6405
    27 Aug '05 23:28
    A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking
    to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him.
    She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some
    independence, but yet know that he was safe.

    So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a
    neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow
    him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance,
    so he probably wouldn't notice her.

    Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with
    her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to
    get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

    The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little
    girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he
    walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew.
    She did this for the whole week. As the boys walked
    and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little
    friend noticed the same lady was following them, as
    she seemed to do every day all week.

    Finally he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady
    following us to school all week? Do you know her?"

    Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is."

    The friend said, "Well, who is she?"

    "That's just Shirley Goodnest," Timmy replied, "and
    her daughter Marcy."

    "Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following
    us?"

    "Well," Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me
    say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries
    about me so much.

    And in the Psalm, it says 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy
    shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess
    I'll just have to get used to it!"
  2. Earth Prime
    Joined
    16 Mar '05
    Moves
    21936
    27 Aug '05 23:39
    lol

    I'll bring it to Sunday School tommorow morning 😀
  3. Standard memberRemoved
    Joined
    08 Dec '04
    Moves
    100919
    28 Aug '05 00:35
    Good one!
  4. Standard memberRemoved
    Joined
    08 Dec '04
    Moves
    100919
    28 Aug '05 00:38
    Originally posted by KneverKnight
    Here are some for you...


    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's
    name?"


    One child answered, "Mary."

    The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

    A little kid said, "Verge."

    Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
    The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n'
    Mary.
    ***********
    KIDS IN CHURCH

    3-year-old, Reese:
    "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
    Amen."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A little boy was overheard praying:
    "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm
    having a real good time like I
    am."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A. Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
    They were ready to discuss the last one.The teacher asked if anyone
    could tell her what it was.

    Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
    "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all
    the way home in the back seat
    of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally,
    the boy replied, "That
    preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted
    to stay with you guys."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
    Prayer for several evenings at
    bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally,
    she decided to go solo. I
    listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to
    the end of the prayer:
    "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed,
    "but deliver us some E-mail.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
    as we forgive those who put
    trash in our baskets."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to
    church service, "And why is
    it necessary to be quiet in church?"

    One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
    together in church.

    Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
    enough. "You're not
    supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?"
    Joel asked.
    Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
    "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The
    boys began to argue over who
    would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a
    moral lesson. "If Jesus were
    sitting here, He would say,
    "Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
    Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son
    ran up to him, grabbed his
    hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
    "Daddy, what happened to
    him?" the son asked.

    "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.

    The boy thought a moment and then said,
    "Did God throw him back down?"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
    six-year-old daughter and
    said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

    "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

    "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

    The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite
    all these people to dinner? "
    🙂
  5. Account suspended
    Joined
    17 Jun '05
    Moves
    6530
    28 Aug '05 02:19
    Great fun, I realy liked this thread 🙂 thank you 🙂
  6. Standard membergenius
    Wayward Soul
    Your Blackened Sky
    Joined
    12 Mar '02
    Moves
    15128
    30 Aug '05 08:42
    A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

    "Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."

    "That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"

    "Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."

    "Terrific!" says St. Peter, "that's certainly worth a point."

    "One point? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."

    "Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.

    "TWO POINTS!!" the man cries, "At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!"

    "Come on in!"

    ------------------------------------------

    One day rather poor man, a tad down on his luck, went to a church considered by many to be "uppity". After the service a Decon, seeing the man's not-very-clean clothes, approached the man and asked him if he needed help. The man said, "I was praying and the Lord told me to come to this church."

    The deacon suggested that the man go pray some more and possibly he might get a different answer. The next Sunday the man returned so the deacon asked, "Did you get a different answer?"

    "Yes", The man replied, "I did. I told the Lord that they don't want me in that church and the Lord said, 'Don't worry about it son; I've been trying to get into that church for years and haven't made it yet.'"
  7. London
    Joined
    02 Mar '04
    Moves
    36063
    30 Aug '05 13:09
    Originally posted by KneverKnight
    A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking
    to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him.
    She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some
    independence, but yet know that he was safe.

    So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a
    neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow
    him to school in the mornings, stay ...[text shortened]... rcy
    shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess
    I'll just have to get used to it!"
    Good one! LOL

    Gets a rec.
Back to Top