1. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    02 Aug '06 13:312 edits
    Thinking perhaps some lighter fare would do some good on here (and recalling Stocken’s spiritual humor thread), I thought I would have a go with some of the forms of argument that we seem to see on this forum (including some that I have, embarrassingly, fallen prey to myself). I have removed any mention of any particular religious/spiritual/philosophical viewpoints. (I have left out the “secret decoder ring” argument, since we’re all familiar with it.)

    _______________________________

    1. Ring Around the Authority

    “I believe it because A says it.”

    “Why do you believe A?”

    “Because A’s infallible.”

    “How do you know that?”

    “Because A says so itself...”

    2. Argument from Terribleness

    “But, but—it must be true!”

    “Why ‘must’ it be?”

    “Because—otherwise it would be just terrible.”

    3. The Refrigerator Argument

    “There’s a unicorn in your refrigerator.”

    “No there isn’t.”

    “Yes there is.”

    “Isn’t.”

    “Is.”

    “Isn’t.”

    “Just go look.”

    Goes and looks; comes back. “Nope, none there.”

    “Well, he won’t show himself while the door’s open...”

    4. Argument from Non-sense (particularly Zen)

    “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”

    “One hand can’t clap by itself.”

    “There. You see?”

    5. The Lemming Argument

    “A million lemmings can’t all be wrong.”

    (Yes, I realize it is a myth that lemmings commit mass suicide; they just have poor eyesight.)

    6. Mystical Practices

    “They’re such powerful experiences...”

    “Yes, dear, but if you keep it up you’ll go blind.”

    7. Mystical Visions

    “Frodo spoke to me in a dream.”

    “No—you dreamed that Frodo spoke to you.”

    “But his message was so profound, and he knew all about me...”

    “Well, it was your dream. Then again, that Frodo is a clever one...”

    8. Argument from the Floating Idol

    “Would you take away somebody’s totem pole when they’re desperately clinging to it in a raging river because they can’t swim?”

    I ain’t going to touch that one... (think vaudevillian)

    ___________________________________

    Additions, please...? I’ll read them when I get back....
  2. Cape Town
    Joined
    14 Apr '05
    Moves
    52945
    02 Aug '06 14:221 edit
    The I know its true so its got to make sense arguement

    The "righteous people cant be wrong" arguement
  3. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    02 Aug '06 14:30
    Originally posted by twhitehead
    The I know its true so its got to make sense arguement

    The "righteous people cant be wrong" arguement
    Yep, good one. rec'd.

    I forgot this one:

    The Tomato Aspic Argument

    “Try this tomato aspic; it’s really good.”

    “I have tried tomato aspic; I don’t like it.”

    “Try it.”

    “No thank you; I really don’t like it.”

    “But tomato aspic’s good!”

    “I have tried it, more than once; I think it tastes awful.”

    “Well, you haven’t tried my tomato aspic.”

    “I—do—not—like—tomato—aspic.”

    “I don’t think you’ve ever really tried tomato aspic...”
  4. SubscriberBigDoggProblem
    The Advanced Mind
    bigdogghouse.com/RHP
    Joined
    26 Nov '04
    Moves
    110425
    02 Aug '06 20:44
    Argument from Forestry

    "Certain parts of your belief system don't make sense."

    "Concentrating on the particular and specific is misguided. You can't see the forest for the trees."

    Argument from Homework Assignments

    "You are not qualified to comment on these matters until you read the following links.

    www.churchofyourchoice.com/statements/theology/complete-theology-in-strained-and-windy-lawyerese.htm
    www.yourviewREFUTED.com/whyOnlyASupremeChuckleheadCouldThinkTheWayYouDo.shtml
    www.irrelevant-link.org/long-boring-screed-unrelated-to-topic.doc"
  5. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    02 Aug '06 20:58
    Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
    [b]Argument from Forestry

    "Certain parts of your belief system don't make sense."

    "Concentrating on the particular and specific is misguided. You can't see the forest for the trees."

    Argument from Homework Assignments

    "You are not qualified to comment on these matters until you read the following links.

    www.churchofyourchoice ...[text shortened]... inkTheWayYouDo.shtml
    www.irrelevant-link.org/long-boring-screed-unrelated-to-topic.doc"[/b]
    ROFL! rec'd.
  6. DonationPawnokeyhole
    Krackpot Kibitzer
    Right behind you...
    Joined
    27 Apr '02
    Moves
    16879
    02 Aug '06 21:151 edit
    The Entitlement Deflection

    A1: Your argument is flawed because of [utterly conclusive reason].

    B2: Well, I am entitled to my opinion.

    A2: Well, actually, you're not entitled to your opinion. After all, entitlements have to be earned. Unless you can back up your position with appropriate argument, evidence, and logic, then you haven't earned the right to hold your opinion, have you?

    B2: Well, you are entitled to your opinion.
  7. Felicific Forest
    Joined
    15 Dec '02
    Moves
    23634
    02 Aug '06 21:20
    Originally posted by vistesd
    Thinking perhaps some lighter fare would do some good on here (and recalling Stocken’s spiritual humor thread), I thought I would have a go with some of the forms of argument that we seem to see on this forum (including some that I have, embarrassingly, fallen prey to myself). I have removed any mention of any particular religious/spiritual/philosophical vi ...[text shortened]... ___________________________________

    Additions, please...? I’ll read them when I get back....
    😀 😛 🙄 😵

    rec-ed
  8. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    02 Aug '06 21:40
    Originally posted by Pawnokeyhole
    [b]The Entitlement Deflection

    A1: Your argument is flawed because of [utterly conclusive reason].

    B2: Well, I am entitled to my opinion.

    A2: Well, actually, you're not entitled to your opinion. After all, entitlements have to be earned. Unless you can back up your position with appropriate argument, evidence, and logic, then you have ...[text shortened]... he right to hold your opinion, have you?

    B2: Well, you are entitled to your opinion.[/b]
    rec'd! I'm going to collect all these when it's done. 🙂
  9. Joined
    29 Nov '04
    Moves
    63086
    02 Aug '06 22:07
    The Irrefutable Positions:

    "Faith means never having to prove you're right"
    " aren't perfect, just forgiven"

    and one I swear I heard today in IHOP (long story)

    "You can't argue with the Lord"
  10. Joined
    24 Apr '05
    Moves
    3061
    03 Aug '06 00:582 edits
    Argument from 'You Can't Prove a Universal Negative'

    T: "Well...you can't, ya know."

    Argument from Contradiction

    T: "Atheism is directly responsible for a number of heinous moral attitudes."

    A: "But atheism itself has no moral implications."

    T: "Exactly. Atheism cannot give us morals -- that's why we need God."

    A: "You just contradicted yourself."

    T: "Exactly. See what I mean? Atheism is contradictory."

    (edited)
  11. London
    Joined
    02 Mar '04
    Moves
    36063
    03 Aug '06 22:21
    Argument by Ridicule

    A: How can you possibly believe X?
    B: Why not?
    A: It's patently ridiculous!
    B: Why?
    A: It just is...

    (Variant)

    A: How can any reasonable/intelligent man believe X?
  12. Joined
    21 Jul '06
    Moves
    80
    03 Aug '06 22:43
    Originally posted by lucifershammer
    [b]Argument by Ridicule

    A: How can you possibly believe X?
    B: Why not?
    A: It's patently ridiculous!
    B: Why?
    A: It just is...

    (Variant)

    A: How can any reasonable/intelligent man believe X?[/b]
    your multiple personalities are intriguing.
  13. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    04 Aug '06 02:591 edit
    Originally posted by lucifershammer
    [b]Argument by Ridicule

    A: How can you possibly believe X?
    B: Why not?
    A: It's patently ridiculous!
    B: Why?
    A: It just is...

    (Variant)

    A: How can any reasonable/intelligent man believe X?[/b]
    LH! How are you? Well, I hope. rec'd.
  14. Standard memberscottishinnz
    Kichigai!
    Osaka
    Joined
    27 Apr '05
    Moves
    8592
    04 Aug '06 03:35
    The Royaltystatement argument

    RS; GOD is holy and good and you are a miserable sinner, but I am saved.

    X; Tell me how you know God exists again?

    RS; The bible, the word of the LORD, tell us that GOD exists.

    X; So how do you know the bible is correct?

    RS; Because the bible is the word of GOD.

    X; That's circular reasoning.

    RS; You are going to hell. Embrace JESUS, I will pray for you.
  15. Hmmm . . .
    Joined
    19 Jan '04
    Moves
    22131
    04 Aug '06 05:59
    Argument from Colored Glasses

    A: “That wall is obviously blue, no question.”

    B: “What? The wall is white.”

    A: “Blue.”

    B: (squinting) “Well, it looks white to me...”

    A: (handing B a pair of glasses) “Here try these...”

    B: (puts on the glasses) “Oh! Hey, you’re right—the wall is blue...”

    A: “Yes, you can’t see rightly if you’re not looking through the proper glasses.”

    B: “How deluded people must’ve been before these were invented...”

    A: “That’s not the half of it. There are some folks who refuse to wear them even now.”

    _____________________________

    Argument from the Map to the Territory

    A: (looking with confusion at the map in his hand and around at the territory) “There’s something wrong here.”

    B: “What?”

    A: “That hill is not supposed to be there.”

    B: “Oh? Why not?”

    A: “It’s not on the map.”

    B: “Well, your map must be wrong.

    A: “The map can’t be wrong; it’s certified by the Metaphysical Cartographer’s Society. Their maps are never wrong.”

    B: “How do you explain it then.”

    A: “Well there are two possibilities: either that hill isn’t really there, or something’s gone terribly wrong with the territory...”
Back to Top