-Removed-You know, I get the impression, by the tone of combative belligerence you and FMF use in these threads, that you must have been bullied as children, and now, without substance, you make negative insinuations to augment your lack of self esteem.
Please just tell me how you think I "went about justifying" that made me look foolish. If you can.
@secondson saidI don't think that's true. You should take a look again.
What a fool you made of yourself last time this quote was discussed.
@petewxyz saidI found it particularly interesting when you brought up the idea that childhood is rehearsal for adulthood and thus scenarios of learning how to deal with irritation and learning self-regulation is vital.
This is a fantastic question which I do not believe is answered well by mental health literature from the perspective of the health goals of adults.
I think the related issue is whether or not human beings need an outlet. Would it be healthier to achieve a serene state of calm and even breathing at all times or do we need to take ourselves into states of heightened arousa ...[text shortened]... io by your developmental needs and that is the child or young person's part of the attachment dance.
My fiancee was raised in a large family, and I find that she is thus hypersocial and adapts extremely well to groups immediately, and this seems to have been a sort of pattern for people raised in larger families. There is a certain gregariousness and willingness to mingle & even suffer through boring talk that I can see from them.
It is almost as if they just rehearsed more & better because they were always navigating social situations that were both pleasant & unpleasant.
@rookie54 saidThere was a park in the city I drank in in my youth where, at around 1 or 2 AM, a hippie drum circle would often come -- they would literally just sit in a circle drumming together, changing the beat sometimes at some cue as the 'feel' seemed to change, and people would go into the center and dance (often joined by the drummers).
a drum circle composed of adepts and rookies
the beat will not be even and well composed, and the off-balance vibrations will enhance mindfulness
unless of course yer annoyed by it and then one must begin again
It was particularly funny in the sense that people would always join them, being in a good mood & usually drunk.
You could also see how simple, repetitive beats could morph... and how they could get you in a sort of trance, and there certainly was a spiritual element to it.
@philokalia saidyou and i have met
There was a park in the city I drank in in my youth where, at around 1 or 2 AM, a hippie drum circle would often come -- they would literally just sit in a circle drumming together, changing the beat sometimes at some cue as the 'feel' seemed to change, and people would go into the center and dance (often joined by the drummers).
It was particularly funny in the sense ...[text shortened]... . and how they could get you in a sort of trance, and there certainly was a spiritual element to it.
My second mini-paragraph there was incomplete -- I meant to talk about how people from all walks of life came...
Really, you would see club people, metal people, hip hop people; middle aged guys who were at the Yuppie bar...
It was really a crossroads.
I almost now want to go back & see if those guys come out still.
@philokalia saidI am a big believer in the idea that it is important to identify the places where you will thrive by understanding and seeking the settings that match what you were rehearsing for. It's not about trying to be 'normal' it's about identifying where your journey would naturally take you. I remember thinking that a medical school was like a giant sorting house as people were matched to the disciplines that were a good fit with their journey. I thought the people who found things the hardest were determined to force their square peg into a round hole due to ideals about who they ought to be as opposed to reflection on their journey.
I found it particularly interesting when you brought up the idea that childhood is rehearsal for adulthood and thus scenarios of learning how to deal with irritation and learning self-regulation is vital.
My fiancee was raised in a large family, and I find that she is thus hypersocial and adapts extremely well to groups immediately, and this seems to have been a sort o ...[text shortened]... tter[/i] because they were always navigating social situations that were both pleasant & unpleasant.
I do think music connects to the above process very well. Some persuade themselves to listen to what they feel they ought to like before learning what music resonates with their self and when they can feel a connection. It catches me by surprise as I realise I can connect to music I never imagined as right for me. The journey began in early teens where you had to either like soul music and hate rock music or vice versa. It's a long time ago but it felt like a truth!
@petewxyz saidI was secretly into Elvis while all my friends were into Nirvana.
I am a big believer in the idea that it is important to identify the places where you will thrive by understanding and seeking the settings that match what you were rehearsing for. It's not about trying to be 'normal' it's about identifying where your journey would naturally take you. I remember thinking that a medical school was like a giant sorting house as people were mat ...[text shortened]... er like soul music and hate rock music or vice versa. It's a long time ago but it felt like a truth!
@ghost-of-a-duke saidWhen I was a student we used to go over to a pub with an Elvis Impersonator. I would never have seen that coming when I was a kid but those nights were immense. Basically we just got off our faces and threw ourselves at it, but it was sound stuff. I had a secretary who was an Elvis fan so when she retired we went to an Elvis Impersonator for her as well at the Adelphi in Liverpool. Good memories.
I was secretly into Elvis while all my friends were into Nirvana.
Music creates the opportunity to be disinhibited with people and share a memory. Maybe that is important. I remember being spun round the dance floor one Xmas by the woman who cleaned the clinic where the team was based. That seemed important, a remembered story in the life of the team.